In response to the attempted abduction of singer Joss Stone, OC Weekly ran a list entitled "Five Pop Stars More Deserving of Abduction than Joss Stone" --
"Should Stone's would-be slayers ever make it out of the pen, we present a list of five other pop stars that are far more deserving of the whole violent abduction treatment."Most of the celebrities on the list are young females, with such awesome commentary as this one for Selena Gomez:
"We only suggest Gomez as a target because she won't put up much of a fight. Thanks to her probable diet of Jelly Bellies and Vitamin Water, Gomez was hospitalized this week with malnourishment, which we suspect is publicist-speak for "eating disorder." Potential abductors can therefore be assured that Gomez won't scratch out their eyes, let alone have the strength to scream for help at an audible volume."and Vanessa Hudgens:
"Since this 21st century Annette Funicello clearly lacks the brains to recognize that her time is up, we see only two options for her:I know, I know...if we can't joke about young women getting abducted and murdered, what can we joke about? Where is our funny bone, people?
1. Sex video with Vern "Mini Me" Troyer and Vinnie from Jersey Shore
2. Disappear - preferably, by getting into the van with the guy in the leather trench coat. That's right, the guy with the pantyhose pulled over his face. He's actually very nice."