FAN SERVICE: the Blog of V.R. Gallaher

Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. Doll

2011-12-20T05:08:00.000-08:00

This spookily realistic Kurt Vonnegut Jr. doll comes with a reproduction of one of his books. From Etsy's UneekDollDesigns, which also offers dolls based on the likenesses of such literary notables as Emily Dickenson, Charles Dickens, Alexander Dumas, John Steinbeck, and Ray Bradbury.

The Death Of Clerks (And Civilization As We Know It)

2011-12-19T04:22:00.000-08:00

How does the demise of the clerk (video store, bookstore, record store, etc.) lead to the end of civilization? Salon has a really interesting article on the subject, casting the clerk as a vital mediator and disseminator of culture currently endangered by automated systems and the Internet:

"The years following the 2008 market crash have been hard on many people. But due to other transitions in the economy and culture – the continued trickling-up of wealth to the very top, the “storm of innovation” unleashed by the Internet, a growing faux-populist disregard for expertise — certain sectors have been hit harder than others. Shop clerks, however erudite, don’t fit into the most influential definition of “the creative class” – urban scholar Richard Florida considers these folks members of the service class, about which he is not optimistic. But they’ve been, over the decades, important conduits between consumers and culture — and a training ground and meeting spot for some of our best writers, filmmakers and bands."

Bookstores and video rental shops were also places that creative people, in-between jobs and/or trying to find themselves, would flock to. Yeah, it was sort of like a service-job...in an awesome place filled with culture! I worked at a video store my first years in college, and the constant flow of movies -- many of them indie/experimental/foreign -- provided a sort of inspiration/distraction from my more mundane duties. Best of all were the lively discussions me and my co-workers would have with the regular customers, recommending our favorite films and learning about new ones.

Now that many of these types of stores are just about history or struggling to survive, the people who thrived in these jobs turn to the very avenue that has made their occupations irrelevant -- the Internet. The unpaid blogger replaces the culture-savvy clerk, once again becoming Culture Nexus. Only this time, unless they monetize their site in a significant way or a paid gig -- they aren't making their income doing so. Big difference:

"In a world of rapid technological advance, where even some highly trained lawyers and medical pathologists are in trouble, the humble clerk doesn’t stand a chance. The out-of-work video store clerk, blogging in his bedroom for free, may be a kind of canary in the cultural coal mine. We don’t always get warnings before our livelihood – or our lives – suddenly change. But the signs today, of a new kind of creative destruction, are getting harder and harder to ignore."

The Time Richard Pryor Was Erased From The Superman III Magazine

2011-12-18T12:54:00.000-08:00

I'm a big fan of Superman III --me and Michel Gondry might be the only ones who are. So at a comic book convention several months ago, I was quite stoked to purchase the Superman III Poster Magazine, circa 1983, for around $3 (cover price!).

Interesting thing about this magazine -- produced by the go-to publisher for such things at the time, Starlog -- almost every trace of Richard Pryor being in the movie was omitted.

Pryor was a top-billed actor in the movie (second only to Christopher Reeve), playing computer genius Gus Gorman. This was at the height of Pryor's career, and as a result of Superman III the actor/comedian signed a 5-picture deal with Columbia. (It is said that Pryor got the Superman gig when producer Ilya Salkind saw him on The Tonight Show praising Superman II).

So why "scrub" Pryor from the Superman III magazine? I mean, there is hardly any trace of his character or his name anywhere in this publication, and no picture of the standard movie poster with Reeve carrying Pryor. No images of him in the posters, and, strangest of all, he's simply skipped over in the character profile section.

To give you some perspective on this, imagine if the high-paid "guest star" of a current blockbuster film -- his or her character integral to the plot -- was nowhere to be found in the official movie magazine. It would seem odd, no?

After reading over the magazine several times, I've found three mentions of Pryor/Gorman. The first is this sentence from the "Making Of Superman III" article, referring to the part of Gorman: "The role fell to comedian Richard Pryor, a confessed Superman fan." That's the only mention of Pryor. Then two mentions of Gus Gorman when explaining the poster images, though he is never depicted.

Concept poster art from the Superman III fan site

There can be several reasons for this. First, perhaps Pryor's handlers didn't give permission to use his image, or asked for too much money to use it. That's entirely possible, and similar things have happened in magazines and other licensed product containing the likenesses of actors. But then what was the point of spending so much money on Pryor to co-star in Superman III if he wouldn't approve likenesses for publicity reasons? It seems counter-productive. I mean, he was in the trading cards, on the cover of the novelisation, and in the UK poster magazine.

The infamous giant foam cowboy hat

Another possible reason: backlash against the character himself. Certainly, this role was not the best use of Pryor's considerable talents. In a nutshell: this was a smart, often acerbic and aggressive comedian playing a buffoonish, clown-like character, wearing different funny hats and doing wide-eyed doubletakes at everything. As a Superman fan, Pryor deserved better. And though he did have that 5-picture deal after Superman, most of Pryor's further movie roles only replicated this cartoonish, slapstick template. I guess this whole issue of him and Superman III haunts me to this day for the incredible lack of respect he got through the entire process.

And it almost looks like Gus Gorman was "grafted" onto this plot rather than being an organic part of it (supposedly Gus was was originally going to be Brainiac, and the victim of the infamous robot-transformation scene at the end). Was this done simply to make a buck off of Pryor's fame? Critics and fans alike blamed Pryor's inclusion in the picture for making it overly-campy. To this day, nobody (except maybe Michel Gondry, though I have not asked him) seems to be happy with Gorman (or, let's face it, Superman III).

So did the magazine just minimize his role in the film because he was unpopular?

Perhaps we will never know. It's a pretty small, nitpicky thing, anyway -- though the issue seems to have continued to the present day. Here is the DVD case for the latest edition of Superman III:

Again -- Pryor is gone. Though at this late date, we could simply point at the unpopularity of the Gorman character as being the culprit (Robert Vaughn seems to be the big winner in all this). I mean, almost every aspect of the Superman movies have been reflected on/winked at in the subsequent TV series, movies, and comics such as Smallville. But what about Superman III? It is almost as if, like Pryor's partcipation in the movie, everybody (except that rogue Gondry) just wishes it had never existed at all.

Oh, and in case you are wondering: there are two images of the scary robot-lady in the magazine, though, unfortunately (or fortunately), no posters.

Cool Holiday Gift Ideas I Found Browsing The NBC Store

2011-12-18T11:33:00.000-08:00

We are still in the midst of last minute holiday shopping, and one of the places we checked out was the NBC store. They do a really great job merchandising series like Community and Parks and Rec, creating cool swag that organically relates to the shows and their characters:

Troy and Abed in the Morning Mug
This is the gold standard in Community collectables as far as I'm concerned, a must-have for fans of the show:

Ron Swanson Pyramid of Greatness Poster

Should be required for any office cubicle, fitness room, or food preparation space:

Dundler Mifflin Paper Ream

I'd buy this not to actually use, but to show how ironically hip I am. Though at $9.98 price-point per 500 sheets, it's not terrible if you just want the paper:

Teddy Pierce Holiday Figurine
This just because I'm a fan of Chevy Chase and this is going to be the closest I'm going to get to having an action figure of him. Though it looks like more of one of those "evil teddy bear" collectable figurines:

Kelly Kapoor Bobblehead
...and this is the closest I'm going to get to having a Mindy Kaling action figure:

Greendale Community College "Go Human Beings!" T-Shirt

It's always fun to wear tees of learning institutions that don't exist in real life:

The Many Faces Of Ron Swanson Poster
Swanson-humor never gets old, never gets played-out:

Requiem For "Batman: The Brave And The Bold"

2011-11-21T05:46:00.000-08:00

So the last episode of Batman: The Brave And The Bold has just aired -- and, as I've watched it right after viewing the first episode of the new Green Lantern animated series, I have a bit to say (spoilers ahead).

First of all, there were parts of the one-hour Green Lantern season premiere that I really enjoyed; but I am not enthusiastic regarding a possible future of animated TV series where everything is done in a standard CGI format. The CGI in Green Lantern was certainly better than some of the utter atrocities (or is that Atrocituses) I have seen elsewhere, but compare it to the epic world-building and design of the new ThunderCats, or the relatively limited but visually striking and effective animation on a show like B:TBATB.

That being said, it is obvious to me that a lot of the future of animated television lies in the Green Lantern approach. It must be far more cost-effective, and to a generation of children literally raised on video games, this 3-D look fits right in. This is not a judgement on Green Lantern The Animated Series, the same way the last episode of B: TBATB, "Mitefall!," was totally not a judgement on the future of animation at all (oh no not at all).

In "Mitefall!" 5th-Dimensional imp Bat-Mite thoroughly knocks down the 4th wall and tries to get B:TBATB taken off the air so it can be replaced by a grittier Batman series. Bat-Mite feels that the series has thoroughly "jumped the shark" and thus needs to be put to a dirt nap -- and who more appropriate than the man who "originated" JTS, The Fonz himself (Henry Winkler), to challenge Bat-Mite's plans in the form of Ambush Bug (no stranger to breaking the 4th wall himself)?

Along with Ted McGinley (who of course makes an appearance in the episode) and cute and pointless new kiddie castmembers, one of the most telling signs of a series that has jumped the shark is hopelessly self-referential storylines -- and "Mitefall!" gleefully wallows in that last category. In fact, the episode literally runs through all the possible flaws of B:TBATB that has led to its own cancellation, #1 being it was essentially one of the biggest "fan-service" in-jokey TV series (outside of Smallville) of all time. (But-but-but that's why I liked it!)

However, I realize that a show like that just isn't going to retain the attention span of the kiddies, who apparently want to see more of the heroes and villains punching each other and less references to a kinder, gentler, older period in comic (and pop-culture) history. And "Mitefall" realizes this too. Sort of. Actually, it was really hard to figure out how this episode (or its writer Paul Dini) really felt about the future of animation, or its recently-announced replacement series Beware the Batman -- it sort of bounced around between agreeing it's time for a change -- accepting that we need a darker gritter Batman, like the one from the episode "Chill Of The Night!" -- and worrying that it might actually be too dark.

The breaking-point for Ambush Bug in this story is when Bat Mite gives Batman guns to use. A Batman who uses guns is not Batman -- these are the weapons that killed his parents and no way is he OKing their usage. Does this reference the controversial promotional image from Beware The Batman of Alfred holding (and firing) guns?

A key character in "Mitefall!" is of course Bat-Mite. Having also re-watched the B:TBATB episode "Legends Of The Dark Mite" (which includes a scene in a comic book convention), it is clear that the character is the stand-in for the Fickle Fanboy ("Batman's Greatest Fan") -- the one that spearheads the criticism of B:TBATB and pushes for the gritter Batman. When the show is finally cancelled by the network (in the episode itself), Bat-Mite is overjoyed to have a whole new collection of swag to buy, and unsentimentally throws out all his B:TBATB merchandise. Then he gets his preview of the NEW Batshow, which is CGI (natch) and stars -- Batgirl?! Bat-Mite is, predictably, unhappy with this particular arrangement. Yes, the gritty realism is there -- but she's the wrong gender.

"Mitefall!" ends with Bat-Mite disappearing from existence (ironically, geeky characters like him can't exist in a gritty Batman universe), and Ambush Bug arranging one last party in the Batcave for everybody who appeared in B:TBATB. In the last shot, Batman looks directly at the camera and promises the audience he will always fight for justice and defend the innocent. And thus an amazing and amazingly self-referential final episode comes to a close. I'm expecting similar types of stories on Community as the clock ticks down for that show as well -- though it could be argued that references to Dan Harmon's conflict with the network and critics/fans over Community's fate have been there since the first episode of the 3rd season (a post for another day).

I love the freedom these shows have to comment on their own situations, to acknowledge the bigger forces at work that impact their content and longevity. That said, taking into account the bored TV viewers in "Mitefall!" who want to see more punching and less talking, I acknowledge where the real priorities in any form of entertainment should be. And, having done my obligatory bit of pragmatic and realistic acknowledgement, may I just say how fantastically wonderful this episode was, and how grateful I was to see it.

Remember, kids:

"Muppet Magazine" Memories

2011-11-20T09:14:00.000-08:00

In my earlier post about Dynamite and other magazines of my youth, I forget to mention Muppet Magazine. In general, I've found magazines spun off from characters or movies/TV shows to be all over the place in terms of quality -- but Muppet Magazine, which ran from 1983 to 1989, was always top-notch. Like the earlier television show that inspired it, the publication integrated the top pop-culture stars of the day, creating (along with Sesame Street and Saturday Night Live), a sort of happy and safe environment where all celebrities human and muppet knew each other and could have fun.

Most of all, this was an environment that was kid-accessible, with neither the Muppet Show or Muppet Magazine talking down to children. Certainly, this is something that kid properties from Spongebob Squarepants to many of the recent Disney/Pixar movies have attempted to do. But maybe the Muppets were particularly successful because of the liminal state of reality they inhabited -- not quite real, but three dimensional and able to concretely interact with our world in a way that cartoons could not.

That said, though I watched the original Muppet Movie when it first premiered in New York City, I didn't really get into the Muppets as a child until the Muppet Babies were introduced in 1984's The Muppets Take Manhattan. From there the era of Kermit and the crew as actual puppets waned, to be replaced by the Muppet Babies animated TV show and a whole bunch of other Jim Henson projects that were really cool but were not the Muppets. And while the Muppet Babies cartoon was very intelligent for its time, it unfortunately spawned a whole genre of infantalized versions of established characters of varying degrees of quality.

So I look upon this current Muppet revival with great anticipation -- I think it has the right mix of what made the original Muppets great, with a contemporary aspect that should appeal to both hard-core fans and new viewers. And who knows -- with Jim Henson's creations now solidly in Disney/Marvel's wheelhouse, maybe we'll see a new version of Muppet Magazine as well. Certainly Jason Segel should be on the cover of the first issue!

Find more info on Muppets Magazine at the Muppets Wiki

Rejected "Supergirl The Movie" Posters

2011-11-19T11:49:00.000-08:00

Here's an interesting collection of rejected posters for the 1984 movie Supergirl, courtesy of Jay Allen Sanford for the San Diego Reader. Sanford scanned and archived these and many other rejected posters for a client, and it's fascinating not just because of "what might have been," but to see how films like Supergirl could have been marketed.

For example, here at the right we have a decidedly non-superhero, somewhat Victorian-romance version of the poster, complete with a flower and sappy tagline (the one on the left was kinda cool though):

Here's some more "non-super" designs, playing up the romance angle. Even the one on the left makes Supergirl look like she is seductively stripping rather than revealing her secret identity:

What I find interesting is how in some of these designs the iconic Supergirl/Superman comic book elements are played down in favor for more of a romance vibe. You'd think that the public would be familiar enough with the Superman mythos through the success of the previous films that this would not be necessary -- you'd think the concept would essentially "sell itself" due to it being branded as part of the Superman movie franchise. And yet, considering the disappointing box office of Supergirl, maybe it wasn't enough.

Lots more Supergirl posters at the link, plus rejected designs for other movies including Batman. And here's part 2 of the San Diego Reader feature, with posters for Howard the Duck and The Fly.

Must Watch: "The Booth At The End"

2011-11-19T11:23:00.000-08:00

The Booth At The End, available to watch now on Hulu, is a mind-bending 5-episode mini-series that you could finish in a night and will think about for days afterwards. Originally broadcast in 2010 on the Canadian network Citytv, Booth tells the story of a mysterious, possibly otherworldly power-broker who makes deals with desperate people. "The Man" receives each "client" at a booth at the back of a diner, giving them a task to perform in exchange for their desire to be fulfilled.

These tasks range from the seemingly harmless -- befriending a shut-in and getting him to go outside -- to, in the case of an old lady with a bomb to plant in a coffee shop, the horrific. Beyond these intricate case-studies of personal will vs. fate is the larger question looming over the series: "who the Hell (perhaps literally) is The Man?" The Devil? A jaded, disaffected God? Something more akin to the Watchers of Fringe lore?

"24's" Xander Berkeley plays "The Man" with equal parts quiet menace and world-weary pathos, in a star turn which will make you yearning for another season. If you're a fan of the mystery and strong ensemble performances of a show like LOST, you will definitely enjoy The Booth At The End.

Bizarre: Live-Action Plastic Man

2011-11-16T04:37:00.000-08:00

I remember these live-action intros to the Plastic Man Comedy/Adventure show being a bit awesomer than they actually come off today. But hey, it was the late 70s/early 80's -- and the special effects were pretty good for a low-budget kiddie show. Because of these intros -- played by a mysterious, IMDB-less "Taylor Marks" -- I always pictured Plas to have the voice of a Las Vegas Rat Packer. Or Don Adams. Okay, I have no idea what particular voice he was going for there.

Occasionally the live-action bits would incorporate very simple special effects -- like a tire painted to look like Plas, or this:

Anyway, a kid was pretty starved for new live-action superhero stuff in the early 1980s -- so this was awesome! I hoped he'd team up with the other DC characters for Legends of the Superheroes.

Some Comic Books That Were Destroyed In The OWS Eviction

2011-11-15T09:48:00.000-08:00

You can read the complete list of the over 5,000 destroyed books from the People's Library at Zuccotti Park here.

"The Best Of The Spirit"

"Doctor Who: Agent Provocateur"

I write this as my local public library is closed "indefinitely" for repairs. I have a lot of access to books, but what about people in my community who don't? There is not a single book or comics shop in my area for miles and miles. The only place that sold books and offered somewhat of a "people's library" vibe was closed by the govt. a couple of years ago. What if all these children in my neighborhood -- many of them from lower income families -- had a People's Library? What if books and graphic novels -- which seem so plentiful for me and my peers in the media and publishing -- were similarly available for everyone?

Part of this is about supporting funding for public libraries, but I also think there needs to be an even more immediate "grass roots" approach to provide books to people. Certainly not throwing away 5K books.

Remembering Dynamite Magazine

2011-11-15T05:14:00.000-08:00

Dynamite, which was produced by Scholastic Press from 1974 to 1992, was the first real magazine I read on a monthly basis. I did read MAD fairly consistently during my youth, but I always sort of filed that in with the comic books. Dynamite, by contrast, was my lifestyle magazine -- the arbiter of every pop culture subject it was deemed my young mind should know about. And that list of important topics of the moment included:

Each issue came with celebrity interviews, kewl komix like "Count Morbida," puzzles and games, free posters and stickers -- just about everything my third-grade heart desired. The magazine was founded by Jenette Kahn, who would later become publisher and president of DC Comics. The first three issues of Dynamite were personally edited by Kahn, with the rest being done by Jane Stine, wife of Goosebumps author R.L. Stine. While one could purchase the publication through the newsstands or subscription, it was the captive audience of school-kids that I suspect was their primary audience -- we had the chance to buy the magazines using Scholastic's "book club" order forms, handily distributed in class.

The makers of Dynamite also had a magazine for the older kids, Bananas. Bananas too had photo covers of celebrities, but more of the Three's Company/Kiss variety. Though the magazine -- which focused on humor and I guess was like Scholastic's version of MAD, had many contributors -- for some reason I always associate it with the prominently chinned/nosed renderings of artist Sam Viviano, who later did a lot of work for MAD itself. Honestly, I didn't read a lot of Bananas, because by the time I was old enough to be in its age-group, I was pretty much into "real" mags like Teen Beat and Starlog. School book clubs were for babies at that point, anyway.

Next time: A look back at Stickers Magazine (maybe. maybe not.)

An Entire Thanksgiving Meal Condensed Into Cupcakes

2011-11-15T04:45:00.000-08:00

It is with a heavy heart that I just finished planning out our Thanksgiving menu last weekend, because these festive "Thanksgiving Plate Cakelettes" would have been pretty cool as well. Just layer turkey meatloaf, cornbread stuffing, mashed potatoes and top with either gravy or cranberry sauce. And because they're bite-sized it means they are GUILT-FREE! Down your Thanksgiving meal as if it was a box of White Castle sliders.

Read the recipe at the fetette blog and decide if you want to have the most unique Thanksgiving meal on the block (there's also a full brunch menu of bite-sized delicacies to accompany your cakelettes)

5 Things I've Learned From Armond White's Review of "Jack and Jill"

2011-11-14T13:57:00.000-08:00

1. I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry is considered one of Adam Sandler's best comedies.

2. Sandler's particular brand of comedy goes back to the Greeks.

3. When Sandler is in drag, he "looks like young women you see on the subway."

4. Sandler's comedy in movies like Jack and Jill "has social and political effect."

5. Sandler's portrayal of a woman in Jack and Jill is "subtle feminine caricature" -- whereas Tyler Perry's Madea "is a clownish grotesque."

Okay. Got it.

Here's White's review: "Plumbing Ethnicity: Sandler’s Jack, Jill and Tyler Perry"

Your Gruesome Pop Diva Publicity Stunts of The Day: Lady Gaga and Debbie Harry

2011-11-14T11:17:00.000-08:00

Alice Cooper perfected Grand Guignol gory stage antics 40 years ago, but female pop-singers really have defined the genre and taken it to new heights of weirdness.

First up, Lady Gaga goes "headless" for a recent performance on The X-Factor (link):

And former Blondie lead singer Debbie Harry butchers a naked life-size replica of herself at a Museum of Contemporary Art gala, tearing out its heart (pics at link NSFW for mannequin nudity):

Combined with Heidi Klum's "flayed alive" costume this Halloween --

--it really does beg the question: why are so many pretty female celebrities using such gory representations of themselves? Is this a positive or negative thing? Since they seem to be spearheading the (fake) gore, is this a step up from being the female victims of slasher flicks and the like -- with them controlling the "means" of the horror in question? Is it commentary on the oft-difficult and cutthroat entertainment industry, where the women often feel like meat or literal "sacrifices" to the audience?

Or, is it just a simple fascination with the macabre that lurks in the minds of many a young girl, supressed for decades by a society that finds such thoughts "unladylike?"

Buy A Mustache Comb Ron Swanson Would Be Proud Of

2011-11-14T06:03:00.000-08:00

This is the "it" present of the season for men with substantial facial hair: a hand-tooled wooden mustache comb from Offerman Woodshop. You might recognize Offerman Woodshop staff member Nick Offerman from the TV show Parks and Recreation, where he plays ultimate "manly-man" Ron Swanson.

At $75 this mustache comb is a bit high-end, but will make you feel you're purchasing just a bit of the Swanson magic.

“Leslie, you need to understand that we are headed to the most special place on earth. When I’m done eating a Mulligan’s meal, for weeks afterwards there are flecks of meat in my mustache and I refuse to clean it because every now and then a piece of meat will fall into my mouth.”

Toronto Ad Agency Shifts Entire Focus To Cat Videos

2011-11-14T05:37:00.000-08:00

Toronto ad agency John St. claims in a new video to have shifted their entire focus to producing nothing but cat videos. I suppose it was inevitable that some smart firm would finally realise that making lol cat vids are pretty much like printing money.

"We've seen phenomenal growth in this cat-egory," says John St. president Arthur Fleishmann in their new promotional video, "we're taking that learning and applying it to our business model."

It's a growth market. "By 2015, cat videos will represent 90% of the content on the worldwide web," predicted director of strategic planning Jason Last -- a percentage that will be more than porn and Charlie Sheen combined.

Must-Read: "Penn State, My Final Loss Of Faith"

2011-11-13T14:52:00.000-08:00

Artist Michael Pilato paints over former Penn State defensive coordinator
Jerry Sandusky in his ‘Inspiration’ Hiester Street mural

From a post on Washington Post's "On Faith" blog, written by graduate student Thomas L. Day:

"I’m 31, an Iraq war veteran, a Penn State graduate, a Catholic, a native of State College, acquaintance of Jerry Sandusky’s, and a product of his Second Mile foundation.

And I have fully lost faith in the leadership of my parents’ generation."

SNL: The Devil Speaks Out On Penn State

2011-11-13T08:46:00.000-08:00

The Devil's reaction to the Penn State child rape scandal, courtesy of last night's Saturday Night Live:

"Evil isn't what it used to be!"

Female Veteran On Frank Miller OWS Post Repeatedly Told To "Die" By Commenters

2011-11-13T07:25:00.000-08:00

I'm not getting into the politics of Frank Miller's recent post on Occupy Wall Street, but I want to point out the numerous wishes for death by the post's commenters against Beverly, a fellow commenter on the thread who identifies herself as a female military veteran:

"Fuck you and i hope you die soon!"

"YES beverly please kill yourself and stop fucking little kids and spewing your hate all over the place!! Yes i know i am stooping to your level but sometimes good people have to fight fire with fire and i am good and you are most definitely the devil so please please die bev!"

She was also called a lying bitch, a cunt, a twat, and was repeatedly told that she was probably not a good soldier and wasn't there for the "real fighting."

Again, politics aside -- it really seems that when the opinionated commenter is female, the number of death threats, ad hominem attacks, and just disgusting language in general towards said commenter increases exponentially.

Beverly's posts were passionate, and at times used profanity as well -- but, as another commenter pointed out on the thread, nobody deserves to have death wished upon them for their opinions. Especially one who actually put her life on the line being in the military.
Beverly followed Miller's advice about "Or better yet, enlist for the real thing. Maybe our military could whip some of you into shape." She came back after military service, had trouble making ends-meet, and joined OWS:

"I am one of these OWS people you're talking about. A war vet, a student and I've had just about enough of you republicunt asshats calling me and my people lazy. Just because we want to end BULLSHIT engagements in the middle east over fucking oil?! Just because we want tainted money OUT of our government?! What unwarranted charity?! I don't get food stamps, I don't qualify for any monetary assistance from the government because I make 8.00 an hour, less than 16 hours a week! My apartment is leaking, mold in my walls, rats in my kitchen, I rent my computer, close to 50 dollars a week just to cart around this god forsaken, rusty ass city to get to where I need to be to rinse and repeat for THIS BULL SHIT LIFE THAT I SACRIFICED 4 years of my life for?!"

This OWS topic is complex and again, I'm not here to say I'm for or against it. It's not a topic that's going to be solved in the comments section of a post, that's for sure -- and just because these troglodytes wish death on a woman doesn't mean that reflects Miller's point-of-view or is something he condones. But good God. Maybe the first two steps to having America go back to the "good old days" is to respect women and our returning veterans. If these "good old days" indeed existed.

The Online Journalists Who Didn't Exist

2011-11-10T15:12:00.000-08:00

Don't try to connect with News Hawks journalists Mike Adams, Charles Lindy, Kara Degete, and Hannah Grimm on LinkedIn -- they don't really exist. The editor-in-chief of the online news site, Ruth Gramma, also doesn't exist. They have impressive resumes, though, even great head-shots. Check out Mike Adams:

This photo was later identified as a stock image used on sites like deviantART, and later traced to Flickr.

According to this LA Times article, this elaborately fake staff was allegedly created by a PR consultant to plant flattering stories in Google News regarding a CA water wholesaler:

"There seemed to be no doubt that Mike Adams was a productive journalist, even if his beat was a bit obscure: the Central Basin Municipal Water District.

In recent months, he churned out more than 20 stories on the water wholesaler based in southeast Los Angeles. He wrote about recycled water that kept the grass green on street medians and parks. About the computer system a college used to irrigate its landscaping. About a water-saving youth soccer field.

The only mystery, really, was Adams himself. The Times could not find evidence he exists."

It shouldn't be surprising that this sort of thing exists -- I mean, look how easy it is to fake a profile on Twitter or chatrooms or whatnot. In fact, convincing dupes of popular websites like Google are created all the time, accessible if you accidentally misspell the URL by a letter or two. These techniques can be used for everything from "gaming" Google with fake articles to smearing a political candidate with a realistic but bogus "official" site.

I think you can get really tripped up by these using these stock photos, though. I mean, here are image matcher Tin Eye's results for a search on the "Mike Adams" pic. He's a very compelling-looking dude, I'll give him that -- you can really picture him on the scene, the brim of his cowboy hat pulled low, covering water wholesaling topics.

Ten Awesome Theoretical Upcoming Movies

2011-11-09T19:16:00.000-08:00

These movies haven't been released yet, but they were recently presented at the American Film Market.

2-Headed Shark Attack

this one has both Carmen Electra AND Hulk Hogan's daughter! And a two-headed shark!

6 Degrees Of Hell

COREY FELDMAN!

Hell Beast

CORBEN BERNSEN. Against a HELL BEAST! AWESOME!

Battleships

HOLY CRAP BATTLESHIPS!!!!!

Super Cyclone

SOOPERCYLCLONE HOLEE-CRAP!!!

Attack Of the 50-Foot Cheerleader in 3-D

Starring both Sean Young AND Treat Williams! Oscar-worthy cast!

Air Collision

Reginald VelJohnson -- that dude from Family Matters...remember Family Matters?

Star Warp'd

It's like every iconic sci-fi character...in one. Perhaps 5x or 8x the awesomeness!

Abraham Lincoln Vs. Zombies

OH MY GOD NOBODY THOUGHT OF THIS BEFORE! Yay 1800S!

Nazis At The Center Of The Earth

That's where these f***kers have been hiding! The center of the f****** Earth! Holy crap!

Anyway -- really looking forward to 2012! Viva la Cinema!

Those Easter Island heads apparently have bodies as well...

2011-11-09T15:30:00.000-08:00

I suppose this was only logical, but I'm still pretty shocked by this photo. I've been very lacking in my Moai knowledge (though I keep feeling I've seen this in a Sam and Max game or something...) They also apparently had big stone hats.

Don't these archeologists know that if they dig the giant Moai Gods out they will step out of their holes and take over the planet? SyFy Channel, get on this story!

Via Mental Floss

Yakov Smirnoff Wants You To Visit His Dinner Theater (Very Very Much)

2011-11-09T05:08:00.000-08:00

I really didn't believe this video ad for Yakov Smirnoff's "Dinner Adventure" show in Branson, MO was real -- but was rather some whip-smart ironic College Humor type thing. But it's real:

Playing this for my husband this morning, he begged me to shut it off at around 2:40.

When you're done visiting Smirnoff's Dinner Adventure, you can visit "The Brady Brunch" with ~~Greg~~ Barry Williams:

Full disclosure: I sort of, just out of curiosity fed by 30+ years of constant pop culture absorption, would like to visit Branson just once to see what all the fuss is about. Is that wrong?

"Asking For It" -- Hate Speech Against Female Bloggers On The Rise

2011-11-07T10:55:00.000-08:00

Uh...I'm coming across an awful lot of links to stories about female bloggers and online forum users being attacked with sexualized profanity and death threats...for everything from talking about politics to talking about being raped to discussing marketing strategies to discussing women's issues within an Athiest community.

There's no need for me to write a messy angry post regarding this issue, right? Do we really need one more? Would it really do any good?

It's just that I hear about this sort of thing happening constantly. And I realize that men get threats and attacks on the Internet too -- but towards women these often come in the form of threats of rape and sexualized violence. Some of these women in the links above received death threats and threats of rape for the simple offense of having opinions. Let that sink in for a second. They are being told that if they continue to voice opinions that others disagree with, they will have their life ended or be sexually violated:

"Watson joked with Dawkins about his hate mail, and said she also gets death threats. But Watson's death threats come with menacing threats of rape and sexual humiliation."
--"Dawkins, Watson and the Elevator Ride"

"An opinion, it seems, is the short skirt of the internet. Having one and flaunting it is somehow asking an amorphous mass of almost-entirely male keyboard-bashers to tell you how they'd like to rape, kill and urinate on you."
--"A Woman's Opinion is the Mini-skirt of the Internet"*

"I got a death threat.
I got another death threat.
And then I got one telling me that if I went to a popular blogger’s conference in November, they would find me, they would kill me, and they would kill everyone around me."
--"Death Threats and Hate Crimes, Attacks On Women Bloggers Escalating"

"As I type this, I am supposed to be in San Diego, delivering a workshop at the ETech conference. But I’m not. I’m at home, with the doors locked, terrified. For the last four weeks, I’ve been getting death threat comments on this blog. But that’s not what pushed me over the edge. What finally did it was some disturbing threats of violence and sex posted on two other blogs… blogs authored and/or owned by a group that includes prominent bloggers."
--Kathy Sierra, quoted in the SFGate piece "The Attack on Kathy Sierra"

"The hate speech aimed at Kathy makes me sick. I am appalled by her experience and moved by her post. And I am sorry to confirm what many women online already know: Kathy Sierra is, literally, one among countless women assaulted like this online. I have no idea how many women have emailed and telephoned me about attacks via IM, IRC chat, message boards, email and blog comments. These attacks use language that describes detailed rape, dismemberment, profanity and indescribably sick images. The goal? Abuse and humiliation of women. These assaults are happening to women blogging in every corner of the Internet -- food bloggers, political bloggers, feminist bloggers, tech bloggers, entertainment bloggers and -- perhaps especially -- mommybloggers. The only predictor I have observed is that the more famous the blogger, the more lesbian, and/or the more not-white, the more vicious her attackers."
--Hating Hate Speech: Safety for Kathy Sierra and all women online.

And so a number of these voices get silenced, or the women significantly lower their profile. They leave the forums they regularly visited and contributed to, they shut down Twitter accounts, or get significantly alienated from the online/fan communities they knew as "home." I have no big answers for this situation. It's just very very real, sucks, and is happening to some woman now even as I write this. I've seen it happen on comic blogs, neighborhood blogs, gaming blogs, political blogs, marketing blogs...it's a situation of epidemic proportions. And it's significantly impacted me personally.**

It's very hard for me to write this but I feel I need to, in the face of constant stories of similar things happening to female bloggers of every field of endeavor. It's not like one or two gory stories but one after another after another. It's horrifying for me to contemplate what this situation is doing to smart female minds across the country and across the world.

"I'd like to say that none of this bothered me – to be one of those women who are strong enough to brush off the abuse, which is always the advice given by people who don't believe bullies and bigots can be fought. Sometimes I feel that speaking about the strength it takes just to turn on the computer, or how I've been afraid to leave my house, is an admission of weakness."
--"A Woman's Opinion is the Mini-skirt of the Internet"

If a female blogger tells you this is happening to her, please do not minimize the sense of danger or violation she feels. Women, support other women on the Internet -- you don't have to agree with all of them but for God's sake don't make this situation worse. And if a site you visit hosts or encourages this sort of abusive treatment towards women, send a message to the webmaster/mistress or forum moderator that this isn't acceptable.

And women this has happened to -- there are people who understand exactly what you have gone through. You don't deserve this...you didn't "ask for it." Nobody "deserves" to be treated this way. This is not acceptable behavior in a civilized society. This is a issue about treating people with common human decency; it is non-negotiable.

*I need to add here that referring to women's opinions as the "short skirt" of the Internet also means that a woman who has sex-positive opinions and/or presents herself in a way that is not considered traditionally feminist is also not "deserving" of such treatment as online threats of rape or death. These women do not have to be required to present themselves in a sexually conservative light in order to "qualify" for not being so threatened. Sex and eroticism in itself does not produce these sorts of attacks. These attacks are the result of sick minds who see the Internet as an easy and consequence-free method of taking out their impotent rage on assertive females.

**Not long after my Punisher one-shot was released, and I received a massive amount of sexualized taunts and several threats of violence and assault, I was too afraid to attend a comic convention because I thought I was going to get hurt or shot. I eventually went to the convention, but stuck by my husband like glue and didn't want to remain by my table or even admit I wrote the comic. At the time, I remember discussing this situation with somebody in the comics business and was told that all the danger was in my head, and that "nobody ever got hurt at a convention." It is thanks to the brave women I quoted on this site that I don't feel like the only female to have gotten so intimidated and afraid. I even hate admitting I got afraid, because it's like saying I'm weak and that "the terrorists won" so to speak. But I think it's good that I'm saying this now. It took me a long time to even have a Punisher item in my office because every time I saw the character, I just remembered this horrid period of my life. I realize that this is specifically what these people wanted to do -- to terrorize me to the point where I would never dare step into "their" sandbox again, or bring up topics that they found uncomfortable. It's just the same old song.

The Return Of The Comic As Collectible

2011-10-01T11:14:00.000-07:00

I took a vacation this week, and barely checked the Internet outside of the news aggregator app on my iPhone. I had no exposure to the latest angsts, outrages, causes, feuds, criticisms, memes, proclamations of doom, rumors, and other minutia regarding the comic book industry -- and that was quite delightful. In fact, the only time I discussed comics at all was with the person behind the counter at a direct market shop in a Florida outdoor mall.

After about 5 minutes of browsing the mall with my family, the clerk asked us if we heard about the amazing new thing DC Comics has done. The real answer was yes, I've been hearing about this for at least three months straight, but I wanted to hear the pitch anyway. And so the comic shop employee went on to discuss the DC "New 52" program, how all the comics were starting at #1, and how it was a great place to start collecting for the new reader.

I asked him what books were doing well for the store, and he said the biggest seller was Detective Comics. Anything with Batman and Green Lantern sold really good right off the bat. Action Comics was a little more of a harder sell, but he played up the Grant Morrison angle. Aquaman was a surprise hit. His personal favorite writer was Scott Lobdell, and he recommended Red Hood and the Outlaws. He proudly said that his store ordered enough copies in advance to meet the demand, though he regretted that they did not buy more Flashpoint, because it led into the relaunch.

The shop was neat, clean, and organized. Unlike some of my local shops in NYC, they had quite a substantial back-issue collection, the long boxes arranged in shelves along the store's perimeter. New single issues were bagged and boarded on the racks. There was a modest shelf of trade paperbacks, mostly high-profile backlist stock. There was some Vertigo and Walking Dead, but I wouldn't say there was a massive amount of indie titles -- at least by my admittedly cursory observation. On the counter, on a lucite stand, was the new volume of the Sailor Moon manga.

I'm going to take a guess here and assume that this shop is similar to many others throughout the United States -- and that, in a way, it represents the heart of what is currently the Direct Market. There's a lot of DC and Marvel, but also a desire to reach out to new customers and a (cautious) delving into alternative titles and formats such as manga. The DC "New 52" initiative was used as a conversation-starter with potential new customers, as I'm sure the latest Marvel movies were before that.

Shops like the one I visited yesterday are key to the longevity of the comic book as we currently understand it to be. If these shops fall, and comics become the domain of mostly digital devices and booksellers, what we know and identify as a "comic book" will change dramatically. Now, I am not saying this as if it is a good or bad thing -- there is no judgement here. I'm just saying this as a fact. These changes will not only impact the format of these publications, but what type of content is produced, how often, in what shape and frequency, with what characters, etc. -- and, of course, it will also impact many, many jobs as well. It would take a whole series of posts to outline just how radically transformed a mostly digital comics industry would differ from what we are used to now.

Ironically, what elements I first associated with hurting the Direct Market in terms of maintaining and reaching out to new readers -- positioning the comics themselves as not just reading material but collectibles -- will probably end up saving (or, at least, helping) it as paper makes its inexorable march towards digital. Once the single issue is readily and easily available on the reading device of choice on day of release, positioning and branding the paper edition as a physical commodity, as a collectible product you can hold in your hand, will become all-important.

Thus, bagging and boarding the "floppies" a store displays on the rack immediately makes them seem more substantial and collectible. Pushing "number ones" generates excitement. Variant covers, sold-out issues, limited edition second printings, movie tie-ins, gadgets and gimmicks and purchasing incentives -- all the things that have been sneered at for literally decades by the Comics Cognocenti as lowest of lowbrow comix experience -- will ironically be key elements to help the Direct Market weather the transition to digital consumption.

And actually, this marketing tactic will have some success with new or lapsed customers -- not just the hardcore fans. I mean, people collect lots of things -- Swatch watches, limited edition Blu-ray, McDonalds glasses, snowglobes, motorcycles, vinyl toys, etc. The initial investment the comics shop asks from the customer for a potential collectible is on the lower-end of the spectrum -- $3 or $4 a pop. The buying becomes an Experience, the trek to the shop becomes a Destination, the dialogue one has with the shop owners and fellow collectors becomes a Community -- and (get your rotten tomatoes of righteously indignant ire ready to hurl) the collecting becomes, in a sense, an Investment.

Again -- I realize this line of thinking would probably make many comic "purists" want to throw up. But from a business and marketing standpoint, I submit that this is a valid idea in terms of stirring up excitement for the product. Now, I anticipate the counterpoint: why not just get the customer excited about the story and the art? The problem here is that when same-day digital and e-readers become commonplace, it will be harder to convince readers to buy a monthly paper edition -- they're getting the same story and art in both formats. The fetishization of the physical copy will then become crucial in the Direct Market setting.

If this all sounds too unconfortably like the Nineties for you -- keep in mind, that decade also had great music!

One Day, We'll Be Able To Watch Our Own Brainwaves As Entertainment

2011-09-26T04:51:00.000-07:00

Researchers at UC Berkeley have figured out a way to reconstruct the images that play within the human brain. Screw iPhone 5, this is the shit!

I suppose this means that once this technology is perfected, our own dreams can be imaged and played back for us in waking life. People will be able to sleep wearing affordable neural-nets that connect to an app on their smart phone -- then they will be able to create viral videos on YouTube of their dreams and share them with the public to be commented on and rated.

It's stuff like this that reinforce my belief that everything we are used to right now will be completely altered within 5-10 years -- not just technology and its impact on our daily living, but our own conception of reality.

You can see the amazing footage of these "brain movies" here:

Lion King's Success Story: Should Hollywood Be Thinking Of Re-Releases Rather Than Reboots?

2011-09-25T14:49:00.000-07:00

I'm getting a major case of deja-vu right now that The Lion King is currently the #1 movie in America -- and thanks to its re-release, it's close to becoming the number-three animated movie of all time! Maybe the strategy in Hollywood should be not rebootings -- but simple re-releases (3-D where applicable)?

In Lion King's case, it boils down to families wanting to take their kids to excellent movies that they'll remember the rest of their lives. Sure, I'm champing at the bit to see Moneyball -- but my 3-year-old nephew isn't. And while the new family flick Dolphin Tale is a solid pick for the kid demographic, how many of these sorts of movies do they make anymore for children?

The new top ten Animated Movies Of All Time list at the moment is as follows:
1. Toy Story 3
2. Shrek 2
3. Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs
4. Finding Nemo
5. The Lion King
6. Shrek the 3rd
7. Shrek Forever After
8. Up
9. Kung-Fu Panda
10. Ice Age: The Meltdown

Again, I have to wonder with initiatives to re-release classic films like Lion King, Titanic, and Ghostbusters, if the new Hollywood strategy -- especially in a recession -- isn't to just stick with the classics, they same way they are focusing more on public domain properties rather than licensed ones.

What is on your own Top Ten list for desired movie re-releases?

How I Watch Most Of My Weekly TV Shows Without Cable, DVRs, Or Other "Traditional" Methods

2011-09-25T09:03:00.000-07:00

I was tempted to call this post "How To Watch TV For Free" -- which, technically, you could do in a manner that does not involve illegally downloading them. But I'm including my modest Hulu and Netflix subscriptions in the mix, because I think they add a lot of robustness to my options. And remember -- almost any legal option is going to include some form of advertising, so it's all never quite "free" without a trade-off.

When the new Fall television season rolled around, I didn't think I could keep up with the new shows and returning favorites without our former cable hookup. We had been sitting pretty watching chunks of reruns like Family Guy, American Dad, Star Trek, and one billion Marvel Comics cartoons, but I didn't think this arrangement would work for first-run shows. The shows would take too long to get on the Web or on Hulu, or they might run in weird buggy online players that would diminish my enjoyment of said programs to the point it would not be worth it. But this largely turned out not to be the case.

All of the major TV networks -- CBS, ABC, NBC, FOX, and CW -- have full episodes running on their sites. CBS seems to be the fastest, with new episodes showing up on their site often the morning after first run on a nicely-sized, bug-free (as far as I can tell) online player. ABC, NBC, and FOX have the advantage of running on Hulu Plus, which means we can watch first-run shows day-after, or a couple days after, in the comfort of our livingroom TV set. CW is the slowest to run new shows, with a gap of about 4-5 days (at least for the new show Ringer); I've had some problems/browser issues with their player, though they have seemed to work their way out.

For the cable networks, this becomes a bit different. Networks like FX and Showtime will offer specific full episodes of pilots such as American Horror Story and Homeland for viewing on their site, but to catch up with regular viewing you'd need an on-demand option such as the Season Passes available on Zune (which is what we use for Doctor Who, and could, in theory, use for It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia -- if we wasn't such cheap bastids!). However, another thing to keep in mind is that if you're patient, you can wait 'till FX, Showtime, BBC America, and other programs find their way to Netflix.

HBO is a tricky animal. They generally don't run full episodes on their site, and instead offer something called HBO GO, which is free if you have an HBO subscription. It sounds expensive, but I think if you are a big fan of everything HBO, this is probably your best option. It's ironic because when we used to have cable, a lot of HBO material was free on-demand. I find that any programming that falls under the Time Warner banner, such as HBO and CW -- as well as any movies made by the company -- are just going to be harder to access without having cable (which, since Time Warner also owns a cable co, is not the most surprising thing in the world). This also means that while we have Marvel Comics cartoons up the ying-yang through Netflix, it is extremely hard to find the animated adventures of Superman, Batman, and the rest through any of the options I've outlined, except buying them (and not a very comprehensive list of offerings at that) through a place like Zune.

The thing is, I have no intention of going back to cable TV. I have no intention of moving backwards. I use an Internet connection, in the form of a wireless thin box about ten inches tall and one inch wide, to access my programming. In addition, I want programming more or less when I want it -- picking and choosing what shows I want and during what time I want to watch them. This is what everything is going to move towards, leaving traditional "scheduled" TV to be the purview of call-in song and dance shows. I mean, we even watch our daily news in segmented clips on Hulu. This is the future. And while this post is not meant to be a comprehensive guide to online/streaming TV, it is meant to document my modest little adventure away from one tried-and-true model of entertainment consumption to a completely different one.

Suggestions are welcomed!

Spader, Goodman, and Clarkson Take Over Office, Community, and Parks And Rec

2011-09-24T08:53:00.000-07:00

All three of my fave Thursday night NBC shows --The Office, Community, and Parks And Recreation -- are being taken over by outsiders this season. Will these changes augur a new period of creative growth to these returning shows, or do the cast additions reveal a lack of faith on the part of the network? Every case here is a bit different (and spoilers are likely so be warned).

First, The Office. When "The List" opens up, the enigmatic Robert California (played by James Spader) shows up on his first day as manager of Dunder-Mifflin only to turn right around and leave -- and then convince the head office (through his uncanny, guru-like mental powers) that he should be CEO instead. California then places Andy in the manager position, and puts the entire staff through somewhat sadistic (uh, this is the guy from Secretary that we're talking about) social experiments, revealing their basic strengths and weaknesses through a system of, as he puts it, "positive and negative reenforcement."

Despite the high "meanness" that California's experiments brings out (sort of on the same level as the stuff in the Will Ferrell episodes), "The List" ends on quite a touching, genuine note as Andy bravely confronts the new CEO and sticks up for his "loser" staff members. While Andy becoming manager may seem like an arbitrary, random choice (I'm always pulling for Pam, pregnant or not), he grows a lot in this episode in a believable way, making his story arc throughout the series really count for something. At the same time, a list of Jim's own, delineating what's most important in his life, will just about make you cry. And no, I'm not pregnant, though like Pam I do get weepy at certain television commercials.

California's presence in this show is still one inch away from being too surreal to fit in -- he basically acts like a God of sorts -- but it's sparking some interesting character developments, so I'm rolling with it.

The Community season premiere, "Biology 101," basically had all the elements I should have went ga-ga over: Doctor Who parody, 2001 parody, The Shining parody (which was ironically parodied in a recent episode of Doctor Who), and lots of Hawthorne Pierce -- and yet it fell a little flat for me. Yeah, Jeff Winger is insecure and a bit of a self-absorbed douche and afraid of being left out of the study group -- but didn't we cover this last season? Yes, Chang is homeless and prone to camping out in places he shouldn't -- another thing already covered last season. Even Abed's Cougartown fixation this episode seemed like a retread. All of which doesn't mean I disliked the episode -- I'll take that over Big Bang Theory any day of the week -- but I was just left feeling a little flat.

Unlike Robert California, John Goodman's Vice Dean Laybourne threatens nothing but doom for our beloved community college. Head of an economically-thriving air-conditioner repair school annex of Greendale, Laybourne cuts funding to the college itself at the end of the episode, making Dean Pelton face the seemingly impossible task of running classes and hiring staff with no money. One must wonder, with Community's continuing ratings struggles against mass-market juggernaut Big Bang Theory, if Dan Harmon isn't seeing his own show as being in a similar plight as that of Greendale -- that the public would rather watch the equivalent of a vocational school rather than the more edgy and intellectual antics of Community.

Finally, Parks and Recreation's "I'm Leslie Knope" pretty much hit all the notes I thought it would -- I never felt like there was any chance of Leslie Knope turning down her big opportunity to run for office in order to stay with Ben -- or that Ben would have any problem with that. This is what Knope has been working towards her entire life (the Geraldine Ferraro stick puppet in this episode was a nice touch), and Ben respects her way too much to be resentful or stand in her way. Touching moments with April instilling confidence in Andy (who has decided he wants to see if there is more to life than shining shoes), and the usual Ron Swanson insanity as he packs up and heads for the hills upon news of first wife Tammy 1's arrival.

It will be interesting to see where the storyline with Tammy 1, played by Patricia Clarkson, goes. Will her influence break apart the Parks and Rec team, or give them a new spark? Certainly, she's got her head together a lot more than Tammy 2, and seems to know what she's talking about -- her stern but motherly advice to April at the end to straighten up her posture as to make her boobs stick out more really works -- who knows what other much-needed pearls of wisdom she has to impart? With Knope busy with campaign plans, Tammy 1 might just fill that vacuum -- or drive Ron to suicide. Or both.

It's at this point that I must point out that the big premiere day for Community & Parks and Recreation was somewhat disappointing in the ratings. While The Office performed decently in its 9:00 timeslot (giving a boost to new sitcom Whitney -- which I am just avoiding like the plague for some strange, undefined, probably unfair reason), the other two shows were slaughtered by back-to-back Big Bang Theory eps on one side of it and American Idol clone The X Factor on the other. Without a change in timeslot, I really worry about Community's and Parks and Rec's future. Certainly, if non-traditional TV viewing methods (including watching the shows the day/s after the initial network airing) were counted, I'm willing to bet these ratings would be higher. Maybe the fan campaigns to increase viewership for both should proactively start now. While I don't think Parks and Rec would be up for the ax just yet, quirkier Community is definitely approaching that bubble, and needs some fan support stat!

Spider-Man "Rules" GetGlue

2011-09-24T07:26:00.000-07:00

I recently joined this awesome new social network called GetGlue. Rather than feeling like a totally boring self-absorbed shut-in who prefers large amounts of TV/movie viewing and book reading to actual human contact, I get points ("stickers" -- just like in school!) for not only consuming said media but announcing my choices, in real time, to the world.

To my surprise, various Marvel comic books filled the Trending Books section on GetGlue. Not trending comic books -- but actual books, rubbing shoulders with Stephanie Meyer, Stieg Larsson, and George R. R. Martin. In fact, the top ten trending books at GetGlue at the moment I write this are:
1. Twilight
2. Ultimate Comics Spider-Man
3. Breaking Dawn
4. X-Men: Schism
5. New Moon
6. The Help
7. The Hunger Games
8. Eclipse
9. A Game of Thrones
10. Spider-Man: Spider Island

It cannot be understated what an awesome awesome online PR move this is for Marvel. Placing on GetGlue not only "mainstreams" these titles for mass-market consumption, but provides data and feedback for Marvel to use as to how these titles are received by the public at large. Even if a person is not a comic book fan, high placement on lists such as this encourages brand awareness and spurs on at least some curiosity among newbies.

UARS Satellite and 2011, The Year Of Living Dangerously

2011-09-24T06:30:00.000-07:00

UARS satellite, actual size

I totally was not freaking out over that falling NASA satellite for the last week, not obsessively checking various websites for updates -- not feeling a cool tingly wave of relief every time I was sort of reassured that the odds of me personally getting hit by said satellite was like 13 trillion to 1, and wouldn't even go near North America (or *gasp* New York City).

OK, totally lying -- I was completely freaked out. Always checking various reputable sources of information, and then Googling less reputable sources of information that might better back up my story (my story being: I was not going to be crushed by plummeting death from the skies). Always asking that silent, screaming question: well, it won't hit the *United States* will it? I mean -- it's sort of our satellite and all, but we're not really supposed to (nervous reasonable smile) endure a 1,200 pound flaming piece of space junk the size of the Partridge Family bus falling down on our heads?

This is often how the major news networks usually frame such situations. "Oh, this terrible thing didn't happen/won't happen here -- never mind." Then, on the off-chance it might happen here, importance gets rated in terms of how urbanely "sophisticated" or "culturally significant" the possible target area is considered to be. Will the deadly hurricane hit a place with 12 museums, or only 8? There's a hierarchy of media importance. And what type of museums are we talking about? Modern Art or NASCAR? All these factors come into play as to how upset and concerned the mainstream news outlets feel we all should be.

Perfect examples of this are the recent hurricane and earthquake in the Northeast. The fact that these events hit New York City (albeit in a smaller way than first thought) kept the major news hubs buzzing day after day. But once NYC was in "the clear," all was well -- in fact some articles and pundits claimed it was all "much ado about nothing". Except for the people outside of New York who had their power off for weeks, had streets washed away, were killed by flying debris, endured continuing states of emergency, etc. But that stuff happens, behind the scenes, all the time. The real question was -- will the Broadway shows still go on? (cut to a sad Lion King in front of a shuttered theater)

2011, so far, has been a year of living "dangerously" -- at least in terms by the number of extreme weather/geological events, political unrest, economic disasters and "doomsday" predictions in the media. The year started with Snowpocalypse -- I know this, because in New York City we had a Foursquare check-in for the occasion. March saw the biggest earthquake ever to hit Japan, triggering off a nuclear emergency in the country -- with the biggest attention in U.S. media being focused on "will a radiation cloud blow over California?" In May, the End of The World was famously announced by a fringe preacher -- and inexplicably embraced and publicized by the mainstream news. Well, come on -- not inexplicably. "Doomsday" sells. There are over 50,000 books about theoretical "end date" 2012 on Amazon.com.

Then August started with an earthquake striking Virginia and being felt all the way up the Northeast coast to Canada. Scores of people -- many in NYC -- recorded videos for YouTube detailing the event, documenting picture frames askew on walls and the like (there was also a Foursquare check-in for that). A freak hurricane was predicted to strike the Big Apple the end of that same week -- what an inconvenience (there was, of course, a Fourquare check-in for that)! There were also the riots that hit London -- which wasn't *The United States* of course, but seemed way more uncomfortably similar to the U.S. than, say, Egypt -- and the Standard and Poors downgrade. The 10-year-anniversary of 9/11 set off a whole two weeks' worth of paranoia and predictions of doom. And now, here we are -- runaway satellite re-enacts "Until The End Of The World" plotline.

Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes! The dead rising from the grave! Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria! Is it any wonder the original "Ghostbusters" is returning to theaters in October? Oh, and remember that pesky End of the World prediction in May? Uh, that was only the first of a two-parter, the beginning of a cycle of chaos and destruction. The second part is supposed to arrive on 10/21. But I don't believe in any of that stuff. I only trust what Wolf Blitzer tells me.

"Free Agents" And The Infinite Sadness: A Review Of The First 2 Episodes

2011-09-23T10:00:00.000-07:00

There's a palpable sense of desperation interwoven in the new NBC comedy (if this is indeed the right term) Free Agents, one that can best be summed up by the ever-increasing number of wine bottles dwarfing the female protagonist's single-serving frozen dinner at the supermarket check-out line. Surely in a TV show starring the ever-adorable Hank Azaria, this should not be -- but fear not, his big dark puppy-dog eyes are used to maximum heart-breaking potential here.

Azaria is in the role of recently divorced (and sorta schlubby) Alex, who will think about how much he misses his kids and consequently cry before, after, and during sexual intercourse. Alex has a one-night stand with fellow public-relations professional Helen (played by Crossing Jordan's Kathryn Hahn), who is still mourning the loss of her husband. Alex is extremely desperate, clingy, and needy, and Helen is a tough-as-nails broad with a heart of putty who won't admit her own feelings for her co-worker. Add Buffy the Vampire Slayer's Anthony Stewart Head as sexually ~~perverse~~ adventurous boss Stephen, and stand-up comic Natasha Leggero as...well, another tough, cold female...and you have yourself a sitcom!

I enjoyed the first two episodes fine -- and it is on my current list of regularly-viewed TV programs -- but I'm not sure how long this show is going to last unless they really take it up a notch or two. As dark as "Free Agents" threatens to be -- it could be a heck of a lot darker! An adaptation of a British series of the same name (also starring Head in the same role), it should take a page from another UK production, Mitchell and Webb's Peep Show, in terms of chronicling the desolation and pitch-black comedy inherent in much of modern romance. The pilot of Free Agents held that potential -- but the second episode, "What I Did For Work," falls apart, to an extent, in a feel-good puddle of sentiment and schmaltz. A lot of the meanness of Leggero's character Emma should really be expressed by Helen, and Alex's said schlubness needs to be less adorable and a little more uncomfortably desperate.

Is this all what happens when British shows are adapted for American audiences? Do they lose a little bit of the "teeth?" Having not seen the original show, I can't speak for this case. But NBC's Free Agents needs to risk offending people and feature a bit more bad behavior and a little less Lifetime Romance-of-the Week.

Lastly, mention should be made of Azaria's quite fit and relatively muscular shirtless bod. He and John Cryer should do a competition to see which schlubby TV persona actually has the tightest washboard abs. Oh, Hollywood!

Watch episodes of Free Agents for free (while they are available) at the official NBC site

Catwoman, Starfire, blah blah blah

2011-09-23T08:29:00.000-07:00

I have to say that the viral marketing concerning the new Catwoman and Red Hood books, in which an inordinate amount of very vocal bloggers and such went online to say Selina's boobs were offensive and that Starfire was "a slut," was very effective. Had these concerned people not gathered en masse to increase brand awareness for these comics over the last week, many less people would have been aware of them and they might have even fallen between the cracks, just more mid-level debuts that would have lost steam in their second and third issues. But now we all have to "tune in," so to speak, issue after issue to find out what new "outrages" might happen -- and how your favorite pundits might lose their shit over them. And perhaps this strategy might elevate comics back to its former status as "mass market entertainment" yet.

But when the keyword "sex" is splashed all over your blog or website, everybody wins. You'll find that those feminist screeds you've written, complete with carefully scanned pictures of every salacious panel you could find, will end up being the most popular posts on your site -- largely through organic search engine results. By focusing so intently on the horrors of wank material, you have inadvertently created...wank material. Only your wank material is more concentrated, because you've cut out all the plot and exposition and ads and shit that were in the original comic book itself. Why keep a copy of Sexx Comix under the mattress when I can access your blog that has so helpfully catalogued all the best bits?

And I'm always confused as to what is considered Conservative and Liberal in these scenarios, Humanist versus knuckle-dragging "Fundie" prudery. Are we for free speech or not? Are we sex-positive or not? Do women call other women who like to have lots of sex "sluts" or not? Do we agree with Frederic Wertham or not? Wertham complained about many of the same issues -- that comics weren't really for kids, that they contained content that would corrupt them and encourage the sexualization, brutalization, and even rape of women. In one article for The Ladies Home Journal he broke down, panel-by-panel, 37 pictures in a comic book story "of which twelve...show brutal near-rape scenes." Now, far be it for me to be a cheerleader of rape scenes in comics -- but shouldn't Wertham get more credit for championing some of the very same concerns that fans recently have expressed about current comics on the stands?

But he won't. He's the Boogeyman, the figurehead for all that represents everything lovers of free speech abhor. So I'm going to do the Columbo routine right now and say, "there's just one more thing that I don't understand." Who determines what is "proper" sexual content in comic books or any other entertainment? Is it a simple matter of sexism? Compare the last page of Catwoman #1 with all the erotic fan art out there by females depicting everything from Bella having sex with Edward to the brutal ass-raping and enslavement of some well-known male character in an S&M "slash" pairing. Go type in "Clark/Lex Smallville" or "Bruce/Dick" or "Angel/Xander" for some good old-fashioned rapey times (you'll never find so many interesting ways to describe anal bleeding!). Females absolutely have it in them not just to write erotica, but material on the same disturbing and immature sexual level as the male-written stuff that is currently deplored. Yay equality!

(puts on monocle)

And maybe, in the end, this is all not an issue of obscenity but equality. Maybe if women had the same opportunities and representation as males in the comic book industry, we wouldn't even be having this discussion. And what is holding women back? Apparently, it is Catwoman's tits.

No, no children, it is obviously not quite that simple. But every time furors over something like Catwoman and Starfire flare up, issues of "obscenity" get conflated with very real concerns over the lack of female participation in comics -- and that ends up hurting, rather than helping, the case of women like myself. I am offended not by this extra heaping of sexuality (oh, and violence! let's not forget violence!) in comics, but the fact that I cannot write more of it myself. It's jealousy, folks -- jealousy over Selina's impossibly hot bod, jealousy over Starfire's apparent lack of sexual hangups, and jealousy over the fact that the most writers like Judd Winick and Scott Lobdell have to fear from the public when they write stuff like this is a snarky backlash from the Usual Suspects -- a backlash that, given the tenuous economic position of comics themselves, can ironically only help the sales of their comic books.

And let us touch briefly on that tenuous position of mainstream comics for just one hot minute. One of the many (many!) Tweets I read yesterday (before I went on an "unfollow" rampage) expressed the desire that since mainstream comics has failed to bring in the female reader base, its "earth" should be "salted" -- basically, that industry should just die. For those who think that way, good luck on your Utopian vision of a comics world without Marvel or DC, and thank you for wishing that scores of people lose their jobs in a market that is tiny enough as it is. I'm sure these unemployed individuals can take all their penciling and inking and editing and lettering and production skills and just go knock on the doors of the more progressive comic publishing shops out there. Good plan.

My final position is that if you really hate a comic book, don't talk about it endlessly on the Internet. Take that valuable time and space and talk heaps about a comic book you like. Because I spent all this time writing about Catwoman #1 or Red Hood And The Outlaws #1 (available now at comic shops near you!), I had no chance to discuss Batwing #1 or Superboy #1 -- new and original comics by the same authors that are in danger of being overlooked in the midst of all this insular fan-rage insanity. And the insular fan-rage insanity -- not the boobs in this or that comic book -- is why I find myself consuming and reviewing TV shows on my personal blog far more than comics these days. I'm tired of the same circular arguments and the Ad hominem attacks on my person if I fail to think in lock-step with the prevailing viewpoint. It's childish at this point. I'm tired. If this was an econmically robust medium whose readers could be measured in the millions, maybe I'd understand it. But mainstream comics are on the edge of a bubble right now -- they're in a situation where the old adage "show your displeasure by simply not buying the comic" will actually have a noticeable effect.

I'm gonna watch some TV now.

Shatner: "Star Wars Is Derivative Of Star Trek"

2011-09-22T05:32:00.000-07:00

William Shatner keeps the Star Wars Vs. Star Trek flame alive with his declaration that Star Wars was "derivative" of Star Trek -- he emphasized the derivativeness of the movie by repeating, "DERIVATIVE!"

Far be it from me to start a debate on the forum about whether there is any validity to Shatner's statements. I'll just let the Shat talk (with added reading-between-the-lines commentary by me):

"Star Trek...had relationships (UNLIKE STAR WARS!!!) and conflict among the relationships (UNLIKE STAR WARS!!!), and stories that involved humanity (UNLIKE STAR WARS!!!) and philosophical questions (UNLIKE STAR WARS!!!)...Star Wars was (shrugs shoulders dismissively) special effects."

I'm staying out of this debate, but you can watch the whole interview with the Today Show below:

Do We Really Need A Rebooted Scarface Movie?

2011-09-22T05:15:00.000-07:00

It's a hell of a drug

Well heck yes -- that's guaranteed ~~buckets~~ bathtubs of money! The Scarface limited edition Blu-ray just hit stores, and air-brush artists everywhere have painted more rhinestone-encrusted denim jackets featuring Tony Montana on the back than the Earth presently has a need for. Solution? Reboot, redesign, resell.

But before Scarface purists get their collective panties in a twist regarding these recently announced plans by Universal to "update" Scarface -- and the movie seems to be definitely a project very loosely based on the basic plot of the 1983 film -- it is helpful to keep in mind that the cult movie itself is a loosely-based remake.

When the version of the Scarface we all know and love was announced in the early 1980s, there were some grumblings about it diverging plot-wise from the 1932 film Scarface, which featured Italian and Irish mobsters in Chicago. Could the public really embrace a new Scarface, one of Cuban descent, selling cocaine in Miami? And while the film opened to mixed reviews and so-so box-office, it gained later cult superstar status. And hence all the airbrushed Tony Montana portraits on denim.

So it would seem that there is an essential iconic, archetypal quality regarding the narrative of Scarface's rise and fall. Maybe this "updated" movie can capture that. You know, I never see enough of Ryan Gosling in the media lately, maybe this is the breakout role that can finally get him noticed.

Are Public Domain Heroes The Best Option For Hollywood In A Recession?

2011-09-21T17:51:00.000-07:00

“It’s every studio in town that’s looking for pre-branded entertainment … if it’s in the public domain.”

So says Dan Jinks, the producer of American Beauty, to the Vulture blog. Whereas the mantra of movie and, to a lesser extent, TV producers over the last several years has been licensing licensing licensing -- the bigger the property, like Twilight, Harry Potter, Iron Man, and Batman, the better -- a new slate of upcoming films and television shows reveal that Hollywood is turning back to the (free) classics for inspiration.

Take the rash of recent in-production or announced projects featuring Sherlock Holmes, Snow White, Grimm's Fairy Tales, Frankenstein, Greek Mythology, the Oz books, and on and on...Even Dreamworks has a new animated movie, Rise of the Guardians, slated for 2012 that features "a public domain Avengers if there ever was" -- The Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, and the Sandman (yes, the basic idea of a "sandman" is apparently public domain, though I wonder what the trademark issues are w/DC Entertainment).

Referred-to in the Vulture piece as "free stories," public domain literary works offer often universally recognized/loved iconic heroes to movie and TV producers for zero licensing fees. Hell, Disney has been doing this successfully with their animated movies for decades, most recently with the hit Tangled. But with an uncertain economic future, will this become more and more the norm? And if so, will the unwillingness to spend big bucks on licensing and adaptation rights impact book and comic book publishers?

Certainly, there will always be movies based on Spider-Man and the latest Stephen King novel. But what about smaller, quirkier projects on the level of Locke and Key, even Wonder Woman? Instead of Wonder Woman, couldn't movie studios turn to another Diana -- Artemis of Greek mythology? Instead of another vampire franchise based on a series of novels, why not revisit Dracula? And hey, is Gladiator, that science-fiction tale by Philip Wylie which was one of the main inspirations for Superman, in public domain yet?

Wolverine Guest-Star On WWE; Fractures Wrestler's Jaw

2011-09-21T16:36:00.000-07:00

Celebrity guest-stars on WWE events is not a new occurrence; I was quite partial to that of Mr. T and Cyndi Lauper, back in the day when they were called WWF. Hugh Jackman, promoting the upcoming sci-fi flick "Real Steel," recently appeared on Monday Night Raw and even participated in a match, teaming up with Zach Ryder and going against Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero.

I was really stoked to see an actor of Jackman's caliber (he's played both Wolverine and Peter Allen) camping it up to this extent with the WWE (best parts: the announcer not only calling the actor's moves "X-Menesque," but calling the match a "Real ~~Steel~~ Steal" for Ryder. And Jackman looked like he had a lot of fun. He also apparently fractured Ziggler's jaw, if this Tweet from the wrestler is to be believed. Just goes to show: don't mess with Logan, he will kick your ass.

The video is here:

Plus-Size "Anna Rexia" Halloween Costume And Other Fat-Free Delights

2011-09-21T14:58:00.000-07:00

Did you know you can dress up as the eating disorder anorexia for Halloween? According to the Village Voice:

"Apparently this is for real: Ricky's, the costume and beauty store chain, is selling an outfit that allows you to dress up like anorexia nervosa for Halloween. As you can see, it's a black dress with a skeleton on it, plus a tape measure for your ever-shrinking waist. The heart on her chest says "Anna Rexia" and that's a bone in her hair."

Ricky's has since pulled the costume, but you can still find it -- including, incredibly, a plus-size version -- all over teh internets.

Meanwhile beer heiress Daphine Guinness tells The New Yorker that she lives on only Red Bull and Ensure and will "eat when I'm dead" (via Gawker). I'll admit that upon first blush, a Red Bull/Ensure diet sounds vaguely intriguing, like some sort of rocket-fueled cleanse full of sparkles and ten essential nutrients.

...

wow, I'm going through this Halloween website, and they have at least 4 variations of poo costumes. Oh, and the fat granny with her lost dog stuck up the crack of her butt. Something for tomorrow, then.

Ringer Review -- And My Crazy "Fight Club" Theory Regarding The Show

2011-09-21T05:54:00.000-07:00

Warning: this post might contain spoilers, but only maybe because I'm perhaps misinterpreting things (or am I?).

The pilot episode of "Ringer" on the CW was good enough (1960s-era "they're ~~cousins~~ sisters! identical ~~cousins~~ sisters!" special effects aside), but the only way I can see this premise stretched out over multiple seasons is if some strange LOST-type pseudo-mystical/sci-fi craziness finds its way into the storyline. Luckily, we have Nestor Carbonell on-board just in case this happens.

Sarah Michelle Gellar is, in essence, "Ringer's" biggest special effect -- not in terms of the fact that she is playing identical twins (we're talking a lot of obvious split screens and a second actress with a blond wig playing Gellar from behind here), but simply because Gellar's Gellar. We can't keep our eyes off her spunky, oft-sulky diminutive frame -- after several years of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" being off the air, and her doing not a lot of TV in-between, she's still a small-screen superstar. And she's perfect in these dual (or are they?) roles of Siobhan (the fuck-up stripper sister trying to get her life back together) and Bridget (the rich sister who has an ideal life -- or does she?) -- the former appropriately angsty, and the latter a complete ice-queen in over-sized sunglasses.

Following a plot very similar to that of the popular manga Arisa, the twin with a crappy life reunites with the twin who has a seemingly perfect life after many years. The "perfect" twin suddenly jumps overboard a motorboat they are both riding on (in Arisa it was an open window), and the other sister takes her place only to discover that her twin's life wasn't so great as she thought. Bridget's husband Andrew (played by Ioan Gruffudd -- that's right, Mr. Fantastic) is a cold douche, and she's cheating on him with another married guy, hot douche Henry (who's married to Bridget's red-haired best friend ~~Willow~~ Gemma). Complicating the mix even more is her husband's bratty horny teenage daughter from a previous marriage, ~~Dawn~~ Juliet. Rounding out the cast is Carbonell as the darkly handsome FBI agent ~~Angel~~ Victor who keeps mysteriously popping out of nowhere to keep Siobhan safe, and wise NA coach ~~Giles~~ Malcolm as the only person who knows her double life.

Again, this all sounds very intriguing -- though perhaps not enough to justify a multi-season series. I mean, how long can Siobhan keep up the charade? How much dysfunction can she possibly learn about her sister's life? How long can the mystery of these twins be stretched out?

My theory is -- it can't be stretched out unless there is another element here that is not immediately obvious but will be slowly played out more and more throughout the course of the series. That element could possibly be that there are no twins -- that either Siobhan (who had past sobriety issues) or Bridget (who is apparently on some sort of meds) is hallucinating the other girl as a way of dealing with her problems (a la "Fight Club"). Additionally, we could have a case where she has a multiple personality -- or purposely took on another identity as a way to escape her problems, but then that tactic got out-of-control.

Now, this storyline could eventually get even more esoteric and crazy if it takes a "Mulholland Drive" turn out of nowhere, with nothing we are seeing in these first episodes really happening the way we thought it was. In that scenario, Victor is not an FBI agent at all, but rather some sort of Rod Serling type character leading Siobhan/Bridget through various aspects of her life.

I'm probably reading way too much in this series based on just one pilot episode -- but I'm willing to give the show a few more weeks to see how things are panning out. I just hope they don't focus too much on ~~Dawn~~ Juliet in order to cater to that all-important teen audience...that's what "Secret Circle" is for!

Netflix, Qwikster, And Movies At The Speed Of Magic

2011-09-20T05:31:00.000-07:00

Really, is there a more "Newspeak" term than ~~Quikster~~ Qwikster to describe a service that snail mails your DVDs rather than streaming them instantly to your computer? And yet, without the continued access to said library of physical DVDs -- still a relatively impressive collection, last time I checked -- how am I to watch countless movies and TV shows -- old and new -- that aren't available through Netflix Instant, Hulu Plus, etc.? Do they actually expect me to *gasp* go to the DVD store and buy these @*&%ers myself? Do they even make DVD stores anymore?

Good God, do you know how many stores that I regularly visited to buy DVDs in New York City are now extinct? And decent rental places? My boss at the video rental store back when I was in high-school was already predicting the end of physical copies for rent, felt he was saddled with a dinosaur of a company. Maybe he should have renamed it Qwikster.

The irony is, now that I'm on the cutting edge of entertainment technology, I'm pretty close to where I started. I knew that obscure Italian horror movie from the 1970s was probably waiting for me at my local upscale video rental store; and if not, there were several good shops that might have it at a decentish price for immediate purchase, if I just *had* to watch it (and those urges happen, and that's OK). But the fastest way now to watch what I want, when I want, is the illegal option. And while I don't download pirated content, it's pretty much the option of choice for millions of people. And you know what? Chances are, that pool of contraband flicks doesn't include said obscure Italian horror movie from the 1970s, and even if it did, it could be a shitty connection or dead link. 500 people streaming "The Hottie and the Nottie," nobody seeding "4 mosche di velluto grigio." It's beginning to look a lot like Blockbuster all of the sudden.

Which is why the movie studios and rights-holders need to stop standing in the way of progress and just facilitate getting everything on one or two (no more than three) different full-service streaming platforms for the public. Figure out a good deal that recompenses them in a manner that maybe they're not quite accustomed to, but is at least decent -- and that might be Netflix, Amazon, or some new application that's just a glimmer in some venture capitalist's eye as I write this. And then just put everything on this service, a complete library, and give me the ability to access this library instantly for as cheap and easy as possible.

Basically, I'm looking for magic. I want to access my movies at the speed of magic.

Emmy Observations And Questions

2011-09-19T05:31:00.000-07:00

These might not all be in the form of complete sentences or fully-birthed paragraphical thoughts, so bear with me:

Why are some TV shows like "Modern Family" and "Mad Men" critical darlings with heaping piles of awards, while others like "Community" are seen as "meh" by the Emmy people? How is "Modern Family" smarter and hipper a show than "Community"? How does no actor on "Community" get even nominated but the guy from "Big Bang Theory" beats out Alec Baldwin? How does one exactly become a critical darling, and are blueberry yogurt muffins involved?

Who has a better agent/PR people right now -- Ryan Gosling or Jane Lynch? Who deserves the media over-saturation more? And why is TV more accepting of older women? I was always of the impression that Hollywood thinks a woman ought to be dead or only good for Polident commercials after she reaches a certain age, but there were plenty of women over the age of 35 at this awards show being nominated, and not just of the freaky Jennifer Aniston "ageless" kind. But is this all luring me into a false sense of security? Are they merely the Hollywood version of what "normal" 35+ women are supposed to look like? Would my arms ever look that good in that silver dress Lynch wore? Is this all just a more devious plot by the entertainment machine to lower my self-esteem yet again? Are the little people in my TV set really talking to and having a personal relationship with me?

When will Ashton Kutcher's status as the young upstart guilelessly usurping the rightful place of the veteran actor -- complete with photo opps of him talking with said "not even angry" veteran actor -- ever end? And is this current phase of Charlie Sheen's career sort of like the "Tiger's Blood" tour but only the exact opposite? Who comes up with all this? Is this like in professional wrestling where you go backstage and they're all buddies sharing golfing stories? Sheen climbs to the top rope, beating his chest, and then we cut to a reaction shot of Chuck Lorre?

Some people say this was the year of the network TV "comeback" -- with cable shows receiving markedly less awards than in years past. I don't have cable and depend on various venues such as Hulu Plus, Netflix, Zune, and the good graces of various official TV show websites. I have no concept of this network TV/cable TV thing, either as a dichotomy or singly as separate entities which I regularly frequent. Does this make me a shitty TV writer (probably)? When will the year of the completely fragmented viewership across multiple streams of as-of-yet unconverged entertainment options take place at the Emmys? And when that time comes, will we see a song-and-dance routine about it starring Megan Mullally, Ed Helms, and one of the third-tier cheerleader characters from "Glee"?

Why do I get more hits on a daily basis for a random post I did on Chris Colfer ages ago than anything else I've written combined? Where's the justice in that? Should I just pack it in and become a dedicated "Glee" blogger with a catchy url like allthehotgleenewsforyoudaily.com? Or maybe just focus on..."Modern Family" recaps.

"Up All Night" Like "30 Rock" + Baby (No, Really)

2011-09-18T13:14:00.000-07:00

Forgive me for boiling down the new NBC comedy "Up All Night" into such a trite high-concept -- oh, like TV shows themselves aren't pitched like this at least sometimes. But please do not let that proclamation give you the impression that I did not like the pilot episode -- I did, far more than I expected to! But the best parts of "Up All Night" are when they don't try to shoe-horn the "30 Rock" elements into the story, and instead let co-stars Will Arnett and Christina Applegate just be their sincere, foul-mouthed (albeit bleeped), selves.

The basic premise of "Up All Night" is that a thirty-mmmmph high-powered couple have just had an unexpected baby, and must rearrange their lives to deal with the new arrival. This rearrangement includes lawyer Arnett temporarily quitting his job to be a stay-at-home dad while his wife works at a TV production company (where the shades of "30 Rock" start ~~creeping~~ trampling in), and the two of them learning not to stay out all night drinking and performing questionable karaoke. So good to see Will Arnett not play an asshole here (though admittedly it is enjoyable watching him portray an asshole as well), and Christina Applegate is great. Their characters are totally believable and natural, and their interactions with the baby are definitely touching but never quite saccharine (in particular I'm thinking of a reoccuring scene where they are so enthralled with their adorable spawn that they cannot stop cursing -- it plays out far better than my meager description illustrates).

*sigh* more emblems of my generation

Maya Rudolph's character -- which I assume is supposed to be Oprah but feels more like Ellen crossed with Tyra -- is just way too over-the-top in this pilot, and drowns out the subtlety of the scenes with Arnett/Applegate. This is anything but a Rudolph hate-fest here, as I've loved her in SNL and especially in the movie "Away We Go" with John Krasinski. But it's obvious "Up All Night" is trying to repeat the magic of "30 Rock," with the actress playing a cross between demanding and shrewd Jack Donaghy and demanding and childlike Tracy Jordan. Rudolph is an amazing actress and there's no reason for her to ham it up here; she's more than capable of creating her own unique foil for Applegate's character (which is the theoretical Liz Lemon in this arrangement). As I've only seen the pilot, I'm sure there's going to be time for all the actors to get more comfortable and define their roles. I just don't want to see "Up All Night" lose its unique charm and end up as something more slapstick a la "30 Rock."

we love you "Ava," but take it down a notch

Anyway, the NBC pilot for "Up All Night" is available now on Hulu Plus, as well as on the official site until October 20; the show itself premieres September 21. I'm going to add some clips of Arnett on Jimmy Fallon, as that's the sort of sad Arnett-junkie I am:

ta-da!

Notes On The First Two Weeks Of DC's "New 52"

2011-09-17T12:02:00.000-07:00

Because some people have asked my opinions, I've written some basic notes on the first two weeks of DC's "New 52" comics. It should be assumed that there might be spoilers here. And for a more in-depth look at each issue, check out the reviews written by Alex Zalben and Charles Webb over at MTV Geek.

August 31:
Justice League #1-- I guess if you're going to make a comic book product that is truly aimed at the mass market and looks like the equivalent of the slick movie blockbuster of the month, this would be it. Complaints regarding its decompressed storytelling -- and the fact that we are only introduced to half the team in this issue -- are duly noted. However, I would suspect that as this title seems to be one specifically created for the mass market -- as opposed to, say, Justice League International (which I enjoyed a bit more, but then again I am a long-time comic fan not the mass market) -- DC has a solid eye on collecting this up for the eventual hardcover and trade paperback, where such storytelling makes more sense.

September 7:

Action Comics #1 -- Now, here is Superman truly taken from a completely different angle than anything else I've read previously. And I'm not sure how I feel about that. Obviously, this story begins before the current continuity of the "new" DC Universe, and Superman has changed a bit since then -- but even that more "mature" Superman seems a bit cold, a bit distant...somewhat more "alien" (almost serving, in a sense, the Martian Manhunter role in the new Justice League). Certainly a sea-change from the love-letter to a smiling icon in All-Star Superman. Is Grant Morrison saying with this new interpretation of the character (though it can be argued that it's just a hearkening back to its very early Golden Age roots) that the previous earnest "Big Boy Scout" Superman can no longer exist or be effective in this sort of brutal world (recent art I've seen of Captain America holding a gun also mirrors this question)? These are questions that really deserve a larger analysis, after several issues of both this and the new Superman title are released.

Animal Man #1 -- I really liked this book -- though, unlike many other readers, I'm not sure I would position it as the number one book of the new crop. I'd put it in the top five. Certainly, in tone and art it feels more Vertigo than anything else. Specifically, it reminds me of the pre-Vertigo era, when some of DC's titles were getting more artistic and adult but the "Vertigo" label hadn't been created yet. By subtly placing himself in the story with the first text page, Jeff Lemire in a sense references Morrison's earlier run on the book. It seems like Lemire is getting positioned at DC as the "next" Morrison.

Batgirl #1 -- If this is supposed to be a "new era" for the Barbara Gordon Batgirl, the first issue sure hearkens back to the previous one a lot. Between flashbacks of the Joker and and an unusual focus on her legs (both in relation to said experiences with Joker and in just sort of a gratuitous, overly-metaphoric way in dialogue and battle), there seems to be a struggle here between moving forward in a new direction and possibly going back to the old thru a "side door." Best thing to do here with this character, in my estimation, is shit or get off the pot -- go back to Oracle or say "fuck it" and unapologetically work with a pre-Crisis, pre-Killing Joke Batgirl. I'm fine either way.

Batwing #1 -- There's a lot of potential here, helped by the intriguing and stylistically unique art of Ben Oliver. The storyline and sense of place seems genuine and well-researched. Unfortunately, this always seems like the type of book to get axed first unless somebody steps in and vouchers for it. Be great to see the title get a chance.

Detective Comics #1 -- This is a great comic. Some have mentioned that Batman's dialogue seems too short and choppy, but I kind of like that. Just really wish the last page wasn't so gory; the book is so strong, with an effective sense of menace and danger, that it really didn't need that. Deciding to go with such a "shock" ending is a crap shoot -- you might pick up new readers just based on the ballsy quality of it all, or it might be the "line" that certain readers draw to not pick up another issue. I like to err on trying to get as many readers as possible with a showcase title such as this (I mean, the name of the comic is essentially the name of the publisher) and using such extreme moments only if they are absolutely necessary to the story. Maybe I'm just a nervous Nellie.

Green Arrow #1 -- I'm very happy with the direction this character is going as a whole; it's an update that is long overdue and that I think can be positioned well for various spinoffs in other media, such as movies. Of course, this interpretation is very close to that of Oliver Queen in Smallville -- which is fine. The story itself was much more of an old-school straightforward comic book story, which was not a bad thing in my opinion.

Hawk and Dove #1 -- I like Sterling Gates as a writer, but this is obviously a book that is dominated by Rob Liefeld's art style and storytelling layout. You're either going to love it for that or hate it for that.

Justice League International #1 -- Like Green Arrow #1, this solid issue features an old-school style of storytelling. Old-school, or is it just good storytelling? While not of the level of the great DeMatteis/Giffen/Maguire run, it's still enjoyable enough and reminiscent of that era. The book seems to be the antidote to the more mass-market feel and storytelling of the main Justice League title.

Men of War #1 -- This book got really panned, but I didn't think it was that bad. I mean, it's a War genre comic book. It is going to have a different pace than a superhero comic. The unique thing with this title is that it features current wars told with a very World War II style; maybe some people find that off-putting. Again, I really didn't think it was that bad.

O.M.A.C. #1 -- The Kirby elements here are very true to the original source material, with clean, polished art. A number of books in this new 52 line seem to have somewhat murky coloring, but this was not the case here; it's like you could divide the titles into those that had appropriate coloring and those that had murky coloring.

Static Shock #1 -- I had a really hard time getting through reading this and I have no idea why. I don't know if it was because the story and/or dialogue was too dense, or the visual storytelling was too confusing, or I just didn't empathize with the main character enough. Sometimes, books just don't click.

Stormwatch #1 -- The delicate linework of the art here was massively overwhelmed by the (often murky) coloring, creating a barrier to an initial read-through. The story itself was OK, though it's weird seeing these characters presented as if for the first time. Of course, the whole thing is a real advantage to Martian Manhunter, who seems like a real badass in comparison to everybody else (as opposed to the JLA second/third-stringer nobody really knew what to do with).

Swamp Thing #1 -- My mom is really into botany, so I really appreciated the scientific references here to the weirder aspects of plant-life. This book seems, in some ways, very similar to Animal Man, as both characters are avatars of nature and trying to escape their true "duties" in exchange for a normal life. Also -- the situation with Animal Man's daughter seems to mirror that of Swamp Thing's own daughter in the previous incarnations. There's the idea that if you get mixed up with something as materially and spiritually massive as an aspect of nature, you're going to be "infected" with it no matter how you try to escape it; certainly, these ideas are fodder for another post.

September 14:

Batman and Robin #1 -- This was an OK book, but I have two quibbles. First quibble: Damien sounds less like how a real highly intelligent/emotionally cold little hellion Wayne-spawn would really act, and more like Stewie from Family Guy. Seriously, read back all of Damien's dialogue in this issue with Stewie's voice. Second quibble: the Batmen of Other Lands (I'm sure that's not their official name, but you know what I mean) getting literally "erased" -- it seems a bit meta. But outside of that, the book was decent.

Batwoman #1 -- The problem with a book like this is that it is generally 3 or 4 levels above everything else in the new line. That was the advantage of having a title like this with Vertigo branding, or perhaps putting it out directly as a prestige graphic novel. You just look at this book -- as good and elaborate as anything at the height of Promethea -- and it's just hard to place it in the same universe as some of the other stuff even just within the Bat-titles. This was also the case with a title like Animal Man, and I'm willing to bet the new Wonder Woman may have the same distinction. Certainly, this is not a failing of the title, but rather it's just an interesting aspect of the whole 52 relaunch. This relaunch is definitely not one tied together by a certain "house-style."

Deathstroke #1 -- It was OK. Nothing particularly distinctive, except for the last couple of pages which you will either think are badass or kind of disturbing. It seems to be a generic-feeling title that might get lost in the shuffle unless they "edge" it up even more.

Demon Knights #1 -- I really liked the change of pace here from the rest of the DCU, and the fact that it seems like the publisher's "medieval fantasy" title is fine with me. I hope all those characters stay in that particular time period and everything doesn't get immediately shoe-horned into the present.

Frankenstein, Agent Of S.H.A.D.E. #1 -- This is really a bizarre book -- as, I suppose, any one featuring Frankenstein as a superhero might be. I liked it better than Lemire's Animal Man, actually, and they picked an artist that really seems to approximate the writer/artist's own unique style. Since Lemire is such a strong visual storyteller, even his writing and his requested panel layouts seem to ape his art style, so having an artist so aesthetically close to him really works here.

Green Lantern #1 -- This comic basically just continues the quality and storyline of the pre-New 52 Green Lantern, much in the same way the Bat-books seem relatively "untouched." This starts to provide a certain degree of confusion, as you wonder how much of the world of the Green Lanterns is really "intact," and how much has changed. But generally, if you bought Green Lantern before the relaunch, this is just a continuation, with a big of a stronger story than "War Of The Green Lanterns" and seeming to get back to the roots of the title.

Grifter #1 -- This was a decent book, but if you were a fan of the original Wildstorm books, titles like this and Stormwatch might frustrate you because the status-quo has definitely changed. I would imagine it is somewhat hard to step in and redo a character like this -- there's a lot of baggage but also a lot of potential.

Legion Lost #1 -- This comic captures a lot of the flavor of the original Legion Lost miniseries (one of my faves), but the time-travel element adds an extra level of complexity that made the story at times hard to follow. I would have like to see this book more rooted in the Legion's current timeline, at least initially. I referred to Chameleon Girl as "Puddle Girl" at the start of the issue, as well as "Drippy" -- making the ending sort of grosser in my own mind than it probably was. Don't mind me.

Mister Terrific #1 -- Another critically-panned title that was better than I expected. The art is a barrier here, for sure -- decent enough, but not jelling with the writing, and the whole thing seeming rushed. But the story itself was kind of interesting, with a cliffhanger ending that at least made you wonder how Mr. Terrific was going to get out of the spot he found himself in.

Red Lanterns #1 -- I would have loved to see the parallel storylines in this issue -- one on Earth, one in space -- be tied together before it ended, rather than be left for the next one. I think a book like Justice League can afford this sort of decompressed storytelling in lieu of the collected edition, but this Green Lantern spin-off cannot. I was surprised to see Ed Benes on the title, and his art looks far more textured and old-school than his ultra-polished JLA/Birds of Prey stuff.

Resurrection Man #1 -- I've never read the original Resurrection Man series, so this #1 is my introduction to the character. Writing team Abnett and Lanning are solid and never disappoint -- the art was reminiscent of a Neal Adams/Jim Aparo, but, like that of Mr. Terrific, seemed rushed. A lot of intriguing solid horror elements here.

Suicide Squad #1 -- The book is unabashedly trashy, and it knows it. We're clearly not going to get the sort of storytelling of the original series, as it goes in a very Grindhouse/Tarantino direction. It's so tonally different from the original that the fact that Amanda Waller is skinny in this rather than unskinny doesn't really bother me.

Superboy #1 -- This was really the sleeper of the bunch for me, as I liked it far more than I thought I would -- and would almost say, Batwoman notwithstanding, that it was my favorite of the two-week stretch of titles. The situation Superboy finds himself in, and his reaction to it, seems genuine and appropriate, and it is no small feat to get me to empathize with a character that has been rebooted/relaunched about three times in as many years. And the art by R.B. Silva was very clean and fresh, reminding me of Joe Eisma's from Morning Glories. But most importantly -- of all the New 52 titles I read, this felt the most like something an actual living teenager would want to read.

And that's it. My schedule will be pretty crazy end of September/early October as we enter New York Comic-Con season, but I will try to write up my notes on the rest of the new #1s at some point.

Second Acts - It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia Season Premiere (Spoilers)

2011-09-16T19:12:00.000-07:00

In the season premiere of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Dennis and Dee assures the prostitute Roxy -- who Frank is determined to marry -- that there are indeed "second acts" to look forward to in one's life and build towards. However, it's clear by the end of "Frank's Pretty Woman" that not only are none such new beginnings in store for doomed Roxy, but probably not for the rest of the cast as well, as Charlie pukes blood, Mac gets self-induced diabetes, Dennis is dehydrated, and Dee considers whoredom (albeit, only foot fetish whoredom with a Tiger Woods impersonator).

I've always seen Always Sunny as being the Seinfeld of my generation, if I'm allowed such a trite, douchebag observation. It's true. I've always hated people who followed Seinfeld religiously, and now I hate myself, finally understanding the wisdom and utter self-understanding of their choice. Watching Mac and Dennis in polka-dotted medical gowns, each getting their miserable prognosis, I feel as if I'm observing an emblematic moment concerning me and everybody I know in my age group, each in one of the two represented categories -- falling into self-justified hedonism and sloth as Mac, or Spartan pseudo-anorexic hyper-athleticism as Dennis does. Dennis believes he can look like he's in his Twenties forever. Mac -- who has gained at least 50 pounds -- has loftier goals, wishing to be an immovable mass. As much as I enjoy the almost retro charm of How I Met Your Mother, unfortunately Always Sunny seems more like *the* show about life in one's Thirties.

Just when you thought this show couldn't get any darker -- it totally goes there. The ending is as miserable and bleak as Requiem For A Dream -- Roxy's heart literally breaking as Frank makes a heartfelt proposal for marriage, only to be left as so much anonymous ballast by the Always Sunny gang in a dirty hallway. It's comedy by way of Hubert Selby, Jr., completely unforgiving and unsympathetic to those delicate souls who might be offended. So why do I keep watching? People who salvage abandoned crates of eggs, boil used denim, and inject themselves with insulin in the belly while pigging out -- this shit happens. Far more than being reminiscent of the urban neuroticism of Seinfeld, it's pure John Waters.

"Frank's Pretty Woman" puts the lie to just one more myth of my Late Eighties/Early Nineties teen years -- that a prostitute can find happiness with Richard Gere, or at least a hippy-haired aged Danny DeVito. And yet if there is one thing that separates Dennis and the gang from those like faint-hearted crack-overdosing Roxy, it's their insane paradoxical optimism. These idiots are *the* most positive-thinking, optimist characters in TV. Charlie never stops scheming. Dennis never stops reaching for a ticket to eternal youth. Mac sees even his extreme weight gain as some sort of weird martial-arts achievement. And whether it's pit-bulls or prostitution, Dee never stops trying to "better" herself and achieve some degree of satisfaction and success in her life. So screw the Kurt Cobaineque fatalism and nihilism of the 1990s -- the Paddy's gang are little achievers, and proud we are of all of them.

Dork Through This: Zooey Deschanel's "New Girl"

2011-09-14T05:50:00.000-07:00

I found myself chuckling quite a bit at FOX's new comedy "New Girl" -- especially in regards to a recurring gag involving a "Douchebag Jar" (I'll let you discover that on on your own). Zooey Deschanel is also quite funny in the show, not quite as annoying as I remember her being, making me wonder if she was ever truly annoying but rather some sort of omni-present "it" celebrity suffering from media overkill who I considered annoying based on principle alone. That said, the premise of "New Girl" is that Deschanel's character is a nerd of sorts -- she wears glasses, makes LOTR references, and sings at inappropriate times. As the ads describe her, she's "simply adorkable" (cringe), depending on her cute 3 new male roommates to lift her spirits after a big breakup and make her feel attractive again.

She gets more dorky than this in the show, I swear!

Thus, "New Girl" addresses two basic primal romantic fantasies at one time:

1) For men: the fantasy that they will find a really cute girl with very low self-esteem and, through selflessly granting her much-needed attention, she will blossom into a really hot chick;

2) For women: the fantasy that she will find one or two or several cute guys who can be respectful and attentive girlfriend substitutes, protective big-brother types, and latent potential romantic interests all in one, depending on the particular need at any given moment in time.

I call #2 the Wizard Of Oz fantasy, which the basic premise of "New Girl" seems to be quite reminiscent of. Deschanel is the lost and emotional Dorothy, and it's up to three wacky guys with various hilarious neuroses and personality quirks to navigate her to "Oz" (which I assume would be out of their house and into the arms of "the One" -- though more than likely this show will take a "How I Met Your Mother" turn and feature her having an affair with at least one of these platonic "friends"). Considering that Deschanel was Dorothy in the recent "Tin Man" TV mini-series, this all begins to take on some added resonance.

See, her model-friend is the sexy one, not her! She's just a big dork.

I would suspect that the biggest controversy of "New Girl" -- if anyone could look at Deschanel's adorkable mug, comedic oversized eyeglasses perched far on her nose, and think "controversy" -- is the topical debate on whether some women are too pretty and non-geeky to really be considered geeky at all, and whether it's just an affectation to seem hip. I don't know...Deschanel has always seemed somewhat sincere -- if not quite a certified Dork per se, then at least convincingly quirky. How long can they prolong the "adorkable" schtick over the course of this TV series before her character finally learns how to pull her hair up in a sexy way and wear heels on a consistent basis? That remains to be seen. But I'm giving the show a shot, at least for the Douchebag Jar.

10 Fan Pictures Of Johnny Depp's Barnabas Collins Done Right

2011-09-14T05:10:00.000-07:00

Just looked at some of the behind-the-scenes pix of Johnny Depp in the upcoming Tim Burton-helmed Dark Shadows movie and...ruh-roh:

The clown makeup...the flamboyant clothing...I'm smelling another cartoonish Willy Wonka/Alice In Wonderland thing going on here.

Are the fans the only ones who can get this right, people?!

Once again, the fans are always right.

Megan Fox: Robo Chic

2011-09-13T18:12:00.000-07:00

I just thought the words Fox used in this interview with Moviefone are somewhat ironic -- I mean, this was the star of Transformers Uno and Deux:

"I just think the media, in general, I just don't really get portrayed as someone who has feelings or who is sympathetic. Or I sort of am portrayed as this—I feel—like a self-absorbed ice queen. Maybe…. But, you know, I care about people. I care about my life and I love people. I'm not this robot. I feel people think I'm almost like a robot—like an android."

Creepy photo shoots like the one she did last year for Interview with the dead-eyed mannequin doppelganger which she simulated foreplay with probably didn't really help with the image problem.

But somehow this topic brings me around to this sadly-neglected gem of late 1980s direct-to-VHS goodness: Robo-C.H.IC. (a.k.a. "Cyber-C.H.I.C.")

...is there a better professional name than Kathy Shower? Isn't time that this film be picked up by some enterprising Michael Bay type and remade into a tight and snappy blockbuster? And who would play Burt Ward's role in the updated film? And where do the ducks go in the Winter?

"The Social Network's" Winklevoss Twins In A Nut Commercial

2011-09-13T04:57:00.000-07:00

I just watched "The Social Network" for the first time last week, so I got a kick out of this nut commercial starring the real-life Winklevoss Twins:

I love that their biggest claim to fame is getting their idea stolen by Mark Zuckerberg. Well, that and being Olympic rowers. And...they're twins too, I guess.

God, it's early.

Is This The Worst Piece Of Public Art In The World?

2011-09-12T10:15:00.000-07:00

Virtual Tourist thinks so:

"Detractors have found so many things to criticize about this work that it's hard to know where to start: its 26-foot scale, its impropriety given that the movie to which it pays tribute is set in New York, and its perceived crudeness given that viewers are able to look directly up the screen siren's dress. Luckily, she'll only be there until 2012."

Yes, the piece is essentially one big giant upskirt photo opp. But isn't it also just a giant hunk of Paul Bunyanesque Americana?

Actually, looking at "Forever Marilyn," I cannot help but think of this scene from the movie Tommy with Eric Clapton:

While we might quibble on the Marilyn statue, I am hopeful that we all agree that naming this statue of America's Sweetheart Mary Tyler Moore as the #3 most ugly piece of public art is just plan mean:

Amirite?

Ikea Redesigns Bookshelves To Not Hold Books, The End Is Near

2011-09-12T07:50:00.000-07:00

Is this Time article on Ikea's redesign of its classic BILLY bookshelf just another case of "sky is falling" sensationalist journalism regarding the "death" of paper reading material -- or just pointing out the obvious, the death of paper reading material?

"...IKEA will release a new version of its classic BILLY bookshelf next month, one that's focused less on storing books than storing, well, anything and everything else. The company is finding that customers use their shelves increasingly for 'ornaments, tchotchkes and the odd coffee-table tome,' and less so for reading material.

The demise of paperbacks is increasingly imminent."

Having always figured that once the mass market embraced e-reading devices, it was largely over for paper books outside of the specialty market, I might be inclined to agree. I have a great sentimental attachment to paper -- but am also quite cognizant of the fact that what I have clung to out of sentiment does not reflect the bigger economic picture. Even more telling: many friends who I assumed would never abandon the traditional book/comic format have done so, sometimes with great relish and relief.

In this scenario I am increasingly becoming "odd woman out" in terms of my collection of "hard copies" -- but when that pesky solar flare/pole shift/apocalypse hits at least I'll be secure in knowing that I'll still be able to read that dog-eared run of Little House On The Prairie books.

Elliott From E.T. is Forty Today...

2011-09-09T08:02:00.000-07:00

Forty!

In other news, Grover is a youthful 44.

Who's Hotter, Henry Cavill or Arthur Darvill?

2011-09-08T11:34:00.000-07:00

The inspiration for this was a misspelling in Google Image Search:

Henry Cavill, new "Man of Steel"

or

Arthur Darvill, "Companion's Companion" on Doctor Who

How you answer determines everything, so really put some thought into it.

Woman Only Hires Child-Free Women

2011-09-08T08:03:00.000-07:00

This is just a quick follow-up to my last post on baby-making, career, etc. A commenter on a related article at City Journal explains why she only hires child-free women, who she feels are more "mature" than ones who have kids:

"I always quietly hired child-free women. Childfree women in my experience are more mature. They work harder and more effiiciently. If they work overtime, it's because the project calls for it, not because they used their contracted employment time badly.

"Child free women are better at dealing with and functioning within adult culture. They don't get sick as often. They are less arrogant/sure that they are right and everyone else is wrong. They are less likely to "talk down" to others. They aren't constantly demanding that others change their schedules at their whim. They are more settled in their personal and private lives (the married ones tend to have stellar marriages/partnerships based on egalitarian principles and solid boundaries). They don't tend to pollute the workplace with romantic dramas. When they take time off for personal matters (a parent with Alzheimer's, a friend dying of cancer), they're usually catching up on work in the evenings, or during their sleepless hours, because their work is, for them, a source of creative energy. They do not assume that their employer owes them anything."

Wow. Isn't hiring only child-free women discrimination or something? And yet, this is exactly the mentality that I was educated with in high-school/college. That women with kids screwed up somehow, were less mature, were just big pains in the ass bringing in more needless whelps onto the planet and screwing up the ecosystem. As the commenter goes on to say:

"Hard working child free women STILL manage to come out on top wagewise. All the while being sneered at because they're not doing the thing they were SUPPOSED to be doing--adding more humans to the planet, rather than making the planet a better place to be."

"Adding more humans to the planet" in this scenario is definitely not seen as "making the planet a better place to be." But imagine if it was seen that way.

On "Baby-Making" And Personal Fulfillment

2011-09-08T06:12:00.000-07:00

Here's an interesting article from BUST about Dutch women, 60% of whom are employed part-time, in contrast to 70% of American women who are employed full-time. In spite of (or maybe because of?) the disparity of employment trends between Dutch and American females, the Netherlands are one of those countries that consistently rank highest for overall well-being and happiness.

But is the societal encouragement of Dutch females to take part-time rather than full-time jobs, and to spend more time home with their children, just a step towards a total Stepford Wives situation? Are women who choose to be homemakers somehow "less feminist" and "backward" compared with those who choose to focus on the workplace? Writer and economist Heelen Mees thinks so:

“I think highly educated women have a moral obligation to take top positions, to set an example by their choices,” says Mees. “When women just stay at home or work part-time, they don’t reach the top, and they set bad examples for their daughters and daughters’ daughters.”

On the other side of the issue, Marie-Louise van Haeren was quoted in the article as saying:

“Maybe this will turn out to be the fourth wave of feminism. Women protect the possibility that one day we’ll wake up to realize that life is not all about acquiring more material wealth, power, status. Many Dutch women that I know want to stay sane, happy, relaxed.”

When I was going to high-school and college in the late 80s and into the 1990s, we (female students) were regularly discouraged by our teachers and professors from starting families while we were in our 20s -- assuming we wanted to have children at all and "ruin our lives." I mean, I was literally told by a number of instructors that having kids and being a homemaker was on the same level of slavery, and that it would destroy all my dreams and future. That I did not want to be one of those dumb women, a "baby-maker," pumping out children and mindlessly baking cookies.

And you know, looking back at this as a thirty-mmmmmphh-year old woman who would very much like to have children, I'm really pissed off that me and my classmates weren't shown a more balanced view of the choices available to my relatively young self. Putting down homemakers -- and moms who work part-time to spend more time with their family -- is not part of Good Feminism. I was essentially fed a bunch of propaganda.

Old-School Eric Roberts Vinyl Lunchbox

2011-09-08T04:41:00.000-07:00

I'm not one to buy various novelty items found on the Internets at the drop of a hat, but:

You can get either an Eric Roberts or Gran Torino lunchbox via Brandon Bird for $20. I'd buy the Eric Roberts one and take it everywhere. It also makes a great desktop wallpaper:

The Top-Grossing Movies Directed By Women

2011-08-31T05:55:00.000-07:00

According to Entertainment Weekly:

Worldwide: Kung Fu Panda 2, Jennifer Yuh Nelson ($637.6 million)

U.S. Domestic female co-director: Shrek, Vicky Nelson ($267.7 million)

U.S. Domestic, female sole director: Alvin and the Chipmunks The Squeakquel, Betty Thomas ($219.6 million)

U.S. Domestic, non-animation: Twilight, Catherine Hardwicke ($192.8 million)

Movieline analyzes the numbers and asks: Is there a "Smurf Ghetto" for women in Hollywood?

"It's almost as if Hollywood doesn't trust women with big live-action franchises, like the superhero sagas that are now the industry's bread and butter, or even with smaller genres, like horror movies (which tend to appeal to young women, after all), comedies, or prestige dramas of the sort that win Oscars."

Maybe, as has been said regarding the lack of females creating mainstream comics, they (multiple choice):
a. "Don't try hard enough"
b. "Aren't really interested in" genres like live-action blockbuster franchises or prestige dramas
c. "Aren't good enough"
d. "It's a mystery to me why more women aren't directing these movies! An absolute baffling mystery!"
e. "What do you mean there aren't successful females directing live-action blockbusters? Just look at Twilight! They could direct more Twilight!"

What is the answer to all this? Do we "get more female live-action blockbuster directors, stat!"?

As for the idea that Twilight might be, in some sense, considered a blockbuster live-action movie, one thing to keep in mind:

"As EW notes, the top domestic hit directed by a woman that doesn't involve talking CGI animals is 'Twilight,' which grossed $192.8 million. Sure, Stephenie Meyer's books were already huge, but Catherine Hardwicke's adaptation of the first novel was not only a smash, but it set the tone for the whole franchise through her visuals and casting choices. And what's her reward? She's canned by the studio because she wants to take her time on the second film and make sure it's good instead of rushing it to capitalize on a hot trend."

The next ~~two~~ three movies in the franchise were directed by men.

Horrors! Woman Signs Up With OK Cupid, Ends Up With Magic The Gathering Champion

2011-08-29T15:34:00.000-07:00

I fail to see what is wrong with being set up with a Magic: The Gathering champ on OK Cupid, as did happen with this writer. Maybe that means I'm an awful nerd as well, and deserve to be called out by name on a major website as an awful, gross, terrible nerd that doesn't deserve to find companionship with normal people:

Just like you're obligated to mention you're divorced or have a kid in your online profile, shouldn't someone also be required to disclose any indisputably geeky world championship titles? But maybe it was a long time ago? We met for round two later that week.

At dinner I got straight down to it. Did he still play? "Yes." Strike one. How often? "I'm preparing for a tournament this weekend." Strike two. Who did he hang out with? "I've met all my best friends through Magic." Strike three. I smiled and nodded and listened. Eventually I even felt a little bit bad that I didn't know shit about the game. Here was a guy who had dedicated a good chunk of his life to mastering Magic, on a date with a girl who can barely play Solitaire. This is what happens, I thought, when you leave things out of your online profile.

A pic from Jon Finkel's (the Magic player in question) official Magic the Gathering card:

THE DUDE HAS AN OFFICIAL MAGIC THE GATHERING TRIBUTE CARD MADE OF HIM!! HOW FREAKING COOL IS THAT?! He looks like freakin' Jesus on that pic...or at least, some very powerful wizard.

Anyway...I realize some people look at me cross-eyed once they find out I collect comic books, so I get it. But still...gah! Methinks this just might have been blown out of proportion.

Welcome To The Future: Two ChatBots Talk To Each Other

2011-08-29T14:39:00.000-07:00

Cornell Creative Machines Lab wondered what would happen if they hooked up two ChatBots to talk to each other. The result? Apparent A.I. "small talk":

This is what we have to look forward to, peoples: "I am not a robot. I am a unicorn."

Next stop: Skynet!!!!

"Anonymous" Helping Time Warner Sell Licensed "V For Vendetta" Masks

2011-08-29T08:07:00.000-07:00

The hacker group Anonymous, who takes a stand against such things as large global corporations (and Scientology!), might be unwittingly helping an entertainment/media conglomate push lots of merch. Via The Hollywood Reporter:

"During public protests and appearances, members of the group wear masks of 17th century Englishman Guy Fawkes, who tried to blow up the Houses of Parliament.

It is the same mask worn by an anarchist challenging an authoritarian regime in V for Vendetta, the 2006 movie from TW’s Warner Bros. studio. Since TW owns the rights to the image, it is paid a licensing fee with the sale of each mask, the Times said."

The article quotes a spokesman from NY's Rubie's Costume, who says that they sell about 100,000 of the licensed "V" masks a year.

Oh, *Capitalism* -- you always find a way!

My Hurricane Irene Update

2011-08-28T12:29:00.000-07:00

Well, almost two days indoors due to Hurricane Irene, but I'm doing OK. I have a little bit of cabin fever, but at least I'm getting some writing done:

Last night, we hunkered down for the hurricane-apocalypse, sleeping in the hallway to get away from all the big windows. I think despite this being my first hurricane, I dealt with it quite well:

Of course, it was impossible to explain to the cats what was going on, but seeing us sleeping on the floor next to bottled water, their carriers, and several go-bags, they began to get slightly curious and unsettled:

Irene didn't hit us as hard as we thought it would, though there was some flooding in the neighborhood and reports of several cars crushed by fallen trees. Oh, and the part about being stranded on the island of Brooklyn/Queens/L.I. because all the public transportation was shut down and the bridges were closed; that part I took especially close note of, filing it away in my brain in case of, well, I don't know...maybe...

Special thanks to my husband, who played Spider-Man: Web Of Shadows non-stop during this entire event.

This Ain't No Tumblr 8/27: Irene, Superman, And Time Enough At Last!

2011-08-27T14:12:00.000-07:00

We are currently watching the little-seen 1988 Ruby-Spears Superman cartoon:

The cartoon is absolutely true to the 80s John Byrne take on the character and its mythos; quite good, though Lex Luthor as a beefy thuggish villain isn't my fave interpretation (I'm partial to the Michael Rosenbaum version, with a touch of that crazy Super Powers green armor).

Currently waiting out Hurricane Irene, the rain is coming down quite hard now but this isn't supposed to be the worst of it. My husband calls Irene my "time enough at last!" moment, referencing the Twilight Zone episode where an obsessed book reader finally gets all the time he wants to read -- following the Apocalypse.

The only problem is, he accidently steps on his glasses and can't read any of his books.

Friends, I have bought a lot of comic books lately, with very little time to read them. All told, I came back from Baltimore Comic-Con with more than a half-a-long-box full of comics (they don't look like a lot when they're in individual shopping bags, but it adds up). I am still a fan of digital reading (even though like poor Mr. Bemis in that Twilight Zone episode, I recently stepped on and crushed my Color Nook charger), but sometimes the mood just strikes me to buy physical books.

What did I buy at Baltimore Comic-Con? A lot of 1980s DC and indie titles. Was that period the high-water mark for graphic storytelling or what? DC's Andy Helfer/Bill Sienkiewicz/Kyle Baker The Shadow, Alan Moore/Rick Veitch's Swamp Thing, obscure First and Eclipse books, even the 1980s incarnation of The Mighty Crusaders. Started the trip reading Veitch's visionary work Brat Pack for the first time; that would be a whole series of posts in themselves to comment on.

Though since we are on the subject of Veitch and 1980s Superman, here's a pic I wanted to put on the blog for a while, via Veitch's blog:

Oh, and here is a cool pic I found on Reddit:

Also, quite by accident, I found this website where users can submit pics of their slabbed "pedigree" comics:

I guess I can see what the attraction is there for hardcore collectors...but it's also a little bit weird. I'm a perfectionist, so having a slabbed copy that was like 9.4 when somebody else had 9.5 would drive me crazy.

I'm currently reading: Animal Land, by Makoto Raiku

Rather, I just finished it. The story of an adorable abandoned baby adopted by an adorable fox-like creature, I really dug the manga and am looking forward to the next volume. But it is rather on the extreme end of the kawaii spectrum -- so if cuteness gives you diabetes, take it slow with this one, reading only a few chapters at a time until your body acclimates.

Well that's it for now -- hoping the power stays on and we get thru Irene relatively unscathed -- be dry & safe!

How January Jones Got "Heigled" -- The Case Of The Monstrous Mad Men Mom

2011-08-24T05:56:00.000-07:00

Mad Men actress January Jones was recently criticized by her 11-year-old former co-star in an interview for being "really serious about what she does" and "not as approachable as the others." This is apparently Big News, as a quick consulation of Google finds over 180 news stories about the child actor's accusation that Jones is apparently very serious about her job.

Why all the hub-bub, bub? Would we see so many headlines if, say, Mad Men actor Jon Hamm was said to be serious about his job, and didn't stop to pat his child co-stars on the head and give them lollipops and packs of Yu-Gi-Oh cards every time the cameras stopped rolling?

This is because it's my belief that humans largely operate from deep, primal, parts of the brain and have certain instinctual reactions and expectations. Women are expected to be nurturing -- not by the entire population, but a good percentage of it. Fertile young pretty women of child-bearing age such as Ms. Jones have even a greater expectation placed on them to be this never-ending fount of nurture and care. When this expectation is frustrated, and a female like Jones tends to be serious and concerned more with the quality of her job than demonstrating a pseudo-motherly attitude towards little (and big) kids -- she gets demonized.

As the media operates largely by pushing the right primal buttons on the populace, an item like this child accusing Jones of essentially not being a nuturing female is ripe for sensationalist headlines. These articles position January Jones as some sort of inhuman monster -- essentially a "bitch" -- who can't even spare some time to be nice to a cute little kid. She might as well have stolen their candy too.

The "mirror darkly" reflection of this media phenomena is, of course, the Casey Anthony story. Here is another attractive young female -- this time being accused of not only not being nice to a child, but killing one. While there are unfortunately tons of similar news stories involving murdered children every day, this case particularly seemed to captivate the world. Now, why is that? In the end -- at its very core -- it's the same situation as Jones. By not being "approachable" to little children, Jones has, to the primal human brain, committed a crime similar to actually killing one.

It's the Lady Macbeth archetype, essentially:

"I have given suck, and know
How tender 'tis to love the babe that milks me:
I would, while it was smiling in my face,
Have pluck'd my nipple from his boneless gums,
And dash'd the brains out"

Lady Macbeth is The Monstrous Woman: cold, a schemer, willing to murder babes, willing to even "unsex" herself if it means getting rid of anything that makes her vulnerable. She and Casey Anthony are the exaggerated fear of the unmotherly female made manifest, comic book caricatures of what January Jones, by being "really serious about her job," represents to the ancient lizard portion of the human brain.

Of course it goes without saying that the real irony here is that Jones has been typecast in such a Bad Mother/Ice Queen role -- and I mean, literally. She plays The Monstrous Woman in Mad Men, the Cold Mother -- and Emma Frost in X-Men: First Class, the emotionless woman with skin as hard as diamonds.

And in addition to being publicly criticized by a boy, she has also recently been called out by an actor who often plays a boy-like character, Zach Galifianakis. In response to being told that Jones called him "the most naturally funny man she’s ever met," he said:

"I was at a party — I’d never met her — and she was like, ‘Come sit down.’ So I sit at her table and talk for 10 minutes, and she goes, ‘I think it’s time for you to leave now.’ So I say, ‘January, you are an actress in a show and everybody’s going to forget about you in a few years, so f---ing be nice,’ and I got up and left."

While other actors might be similarly curt for a whole host of possible reasons, this anecdote by Galifianakis regarding Jones also made headlines, and for, at the heart of it, very similar reasons as the one concerning the Mad Men child actor.

All of which might place Jones in a similar precarious position as actress Katherine Heigl, who after several public criticisms of her by similarly boy-like actor Seth Rogen and his friend director Judd Apatow, has seen her career permanently damaged, her reputation being that of "a bitch." Some of those complaints revolved around her calling the movie they all made together, Knocked Up, sexist. Specifically, Heigl said the movie "paints the women as shrews" whereas the men are portrayed as "loveable." What silly Heigl didn't realize was that not only does not being a nuturing female sour the primal male (and female) brain towards oneself, but pointing out the mechanics of it all also sours said hive mind (with enlightened exceptions, to be sure, which includes no doubt Dear Reader).

Which is all to say, I guess, that if you subscribe to the Primal Lizard Brain Theory Of Why People Do What They Do, this post I just wrote is somewhat of a boner-killer.

This Ain't No Tumblr, 8/17: 1960s Animated Spider-Man, Nikola Tesla, The Big Lebowski, and More

2011-08-17T18:59:00.000-07:00

Right now me and the husband are winding down from a long day at work, watching the 1960s Spider-Man cartoon on Netflix Instant. A decent cartoon, but I don't have to tell you how bizarre some of the art is in it:

I was going to show you some pics from me and my husband's Big Lebowski Adventure, but first for something completely different:

Why Nikola Tesla, you might ask? Well, when we were standing in line to get into yesterday's Big Lebowski reunion screening, we realized we were waiting right at the same spot as this plaque commemorating the famous inventor's death.

So, did Tesla die in the building in question? At that very spot?? I don't know, but considering my husband is a fan of Tesla (he makes an appearance in his webcomic High Moon, and inspired his issue of Deadlands), it was kinda weird!

The Lebowski Fest reunion of the original cast (to celebrate the release of the new Blu-ray) I attended really deserves a full post on its own, but here is a preview:

Awwwwww!!!!!!!

Aren't you excited for more?!

But instead, let's go with this new promo photo of the Always Sunny In Philadelphia cast for now, including a somewhat larger Mac:

It sort of really freaks me out that actor Rob McElhenney gained so much weight for his show. Yeah, he said that if Christian Bale can do it, he can do it...but come on, Bale is almost superhuman. A comparison of McElhenney before and after:

I'm currently reading: Parasyte Vol. 3 by Hitoshi Iwaaki

It's crazy how fast I devour these volumes. It's like I actually feel guilty reading these, they go by so fast and I enjoy them so much. What is it like to enjoy a comic so much it feels like you must be committing a sin?

Well, that's it for now -- I bid you a Depardadieu:

Cheers!

Angry Apple Fan Is Angry (Video)

2011-08-15T05:25:00.000-07:00

Is it wrong that I find these complaint-filled videos so soothing as background noise?

This Ain't No Tumblr, 8/14: Freakazoid!, Arrested Development, Mt. Everest, and lots of Rain

2011-08-14T09:09:00.000-07:00

A rain of apparently Biblical proportions has descended upon NYC, hunkering me and my husband down for a day largely in front of the TV, eating Indian food for breakfast and watching Freakazoid!.

Except for an episode some time back, I've never really watched Freakazoid!, though it comes very recommended by several people whose opinion I respect regarding such matters. Created by the Batman The Animated Series team of Bruce Timm and Paul Dini -- as well as Steven Spielberg -- it's sort of like The Tick crossed with Animaniacs, with a dash of The Mask for good measure.

Next, it's time for a bunch of Arrested Development episodes. We're at my absolute favorite episode, featuring Annhog, "PopPop in the attic," and various characters reenacting Charlie Brown's sad stroll:

Speaking of AD, I came across this cool Bluth Family Coat Of Arms (via):

And now for something completely different:

Currently reading: Into Thin Air, by Jon Krakauer

The book is about a doomed 1996 Mt. Everest expedition. I was inspired to read it after reading this fascinating article and this forum discussion about dead bodies of mountain climbers abandoned all over Everest. Some of these bodies are apparently quite old, still in their parkas, and are used as identifying landmarks for other climbers.

Have a lovely Sunday, and stay dry wherever you are (unless your intention is otherwise).

This Ain't No Tumblr 8/13

2011-08-13T08:35:00.000-07:00

This morning me and my husband are watching old Filmation Aquaman cartoons on Zune:

Really love the simple, streamlined design and bright colors. Mera has a pink seahorse, of course.

You have to be a pretty hardcore public television fan to get this PBS logo tattoo (via NPR Tumblr):

A first look pic of Leonardo DiCaprio as J. Edgar Hoover (via EW):

And here's a pic of 343 hot-air balloons all launched at the same time in France, vying for the world record (via Laughing Squid):

Currently reading: Black Jack Vol. 15 by Osamu Tezuka:

Quite possibly my favoritest comic ever.

Video: Crazy Power Rangers Fan Goes Crazy

2011-08-12T12:59:00.000-07:00

...just a little something to lead into the weekend:

Gerry Conway On JLA Detroit & DC Retroactive

2011-08-12T09:03:00.000-07:00

I'm super-proud of this Creator's Commentary MTV Geek writer Charles Webb did with classic JLA writer Gerry Conway about his new DC Retroactive: Justice League of America 1980s comic. If you've ever heard of "Justice League Detroit," this is the article for you.

Conway imagines what a modern-day Justice League Detroit would be like:

"As you say, parts of Detroit are even in worse shape today—along with the rest of the country. My opening description of Detroit was meant to provoke the reader to make an ironic internal comparison with the America of today versus the imaginary America of Ronald Reagan's era. If there was a JLA Detroit 2011 I hope they'd be pissed as hell that the country is in the situation it is now, and that their adventures would reflect that reality."

He also discusses the oft-maligned character Vibe, who Conway describes as -- to quote Curly from the Three Stooges --"a victim of soikumstance."

Check it out!

Updates From The Land Of Val

2011-08-12T08:33:00.000-07:00

Just some updates, because some people have asked --

I had proposed a collaborative webcomic effort a few months ago called "Dangerous Minds." It was just an artistic thing among some writers and artists -- with monetary proceeds, if any, going to all participants evenly. My dream was to perhaps get Kickstarter funding for the anthology. Given the current (needlessly excessive) negative climate towards such comic projects, however, I have decided to put this project on hold.

I'm still very creative and have a lot of ideas, but at this time -- other than a creator-owned comic project or two that are sort of hanging in the air -- I'm focusing mostly on straight prose writing, leaning towards YA and non-fiction material. It seems like the most appropriate and satisfying option for what I want to say. Before I wrote comics I wrote a massive amount of prose and poetry (as well as academic papers), and I want to revisit that vital and meaningful time in my life.

Further, I really love my job and the fact that every day I'm doing my part to introduce comics to new and younger readers. As my (understanding) husband can attest to, I still go to the comic book store each week and buy a fresh stack of comics and manga. If I ever figure out Google Plus, I'd love to discuss some of what I'm reading with my friends.

My twin passions now are looking backward to the sci-fi/comics fandom culture of the 70s and 80s -- which I consider to be a fascinating and relatively diverse period -- and researching what the Millennial generation (and beyond) want in their pop-culture entertainment.

So in short, I lead a very busy and happy life -- and probably have never enjoyed reading comic book material so much since I was a kid.

Lastly, a recommendation: comic fans who are looking for talented female writers should check out the latest offerings in Young Adult fiction. There is some amazing stuff being done in this genre, full of strong female characters -- and far beyond what stereotyped version some may have in their heads, thinking it's all just "Twilight."

YA, manga, anime, and hobby gaming (which, admittedly, I've only dipped my toe into as of this writing -- but color me intrigued) have all opened up many new worlds and possibilities for me -- and I'm blessed and excited to have these new fandoms and hobbies to explore, even if I started exploring them at the ripe old age of thirty-mwamphmmf...

Well, that's it. And, just because you've been so awesome, here is a photo of a freakishly tiny puppy:

You're welcome.

Video: Angry Gamer Guy Is Angry

2011-08-11T09:11:00.000-07:00

If you're short on spare viewing time, 3:39 is epic; he starts speaking in tongues.

...though I would suspect the conveniently-positioned Slave Leia poster gives away that this might just be a put-on. It's so hard to tell anymore.

I Just Noticed Something Regarding This Whole "News Of The World" Thing...

2011-07-19T05:19:00.000-07:00

Separated at birth?

Tess Mercer, The Daily Planet; Rebekah Brooks, News Of The World

In other developments, while authorities note that the death of News of the World whistleblower/former entertainment reporter Sean Hoare is "unexplained," it is also "not being treated as suspicious." Which sounds about right.

Harrison Ford Wanted To See Indiana Jones and Han Solo Killed Off

2011-07-16T08:50:00.000-07:00

Harrison Ford told EW recently:

"I always want my characters to die...I thought Han Solo should have died at the end of the last Star Wars movie, just because it seemed right for the character."

And yet how realistic, in this world of corporate entertainment franchises, is the notion that an iconic character will simply be allowed to die?

Let's take the case of Indiana Jones. Ford can't keep making these films forever. There are rumors that Jones will bite the big one in the theoretical "last" Indiana Jones movie -- and that feels pretty plausible. But what will probably happen after that movie?

Reboot.

Imagine, if you will, an Indiana Jones reboot with, say, Jon Hamm in the title role. Or Bradley Cooper (assuming that his Crow reboot doesn't carry on the curse of that particular franchise). Or -- fuck it -- Ryan Reynolds.

That Indiana Jones reboot is guaranteed to make, before it is even released, tons and tons of money. There is no way that character is going to be allowed to die. ZERO POSSIBILITY.

But even without the (in my mind, extremely likely) chance of an Indy reboot -- there are tons of media options to carry on those stories with Ford's likeness. Video games, books, comics, even highly-realistic CGI movies.

I mean, isn't this the case with Han Solo? Regardless if Ford wanted to kill off Solo at the end of Return of the Jedi, that iconic character with his face has been very active in a whole host of different media for over 25 years.

Isn't that a weird feeling for an actor? I mean, in one sense it is cool, in another -- weird.

We are in the Post-Death Age of pop-culture and entertainment, I believe. A more in-depth exploration of this concept later.

Lady Gaga Pelted With Eggs, Unable To Move Because Of Mermaid Legs

2011-07-15T09:54:00.000-07:00

There is something descriptive and delightfully surreal about this post's title -- stirring up visions of the unholy spawn of a Salvador Dali painting and Andrew Wyeth's "Christina's World." This may be why I slightly suspect that the incident described by Rolling Stone as taking place in an Australian Lady Gaga concert might have been staged as yet another Gaga absurdist performance art piece:

"A group of angry fans threw eggs at Lady Gaga in response to her recent appearance on stage in Sydney, Australia rolling around in a wheelchair. Though the throwers missed Gaga herself, a few eggs hit members of her entourage. It is unclear why audience members had the eggs in the first place, however."

Gaga was portraying her mermaid alter-ego ~~Lori Lemaris~~ Yuyi at the time, and had her legs bound together in a fish tail -- preventing an easier escape from the eggs. She has reportedly been criticized by activists for making light of those who actually require wheelchairs.

Mermaid wheelchair flashback, Bette Midler back in the day:

Maybe the eggers were Delores DeLago fans.

Chris Colfer Finds Out He's Leaving GLEE on Twitter

2011-07-15T09:00:00.000-07:00

It's always fun to find out you've been written out of a successful TV series via Twitter -- or by reading an exclusive magazine article that details your redundancy.

When I first skimmed this Hollywood Reporter article on cast changes to GLEE, I thought the actors involved -- Colfer, Lea Michelle, and Cory Monteith -- were already told that they were leaving at the end of Season 3 -- or that perhaps they all decided to leave to pursue successful solo careers. But not so for Colfer, who also just received an Emmy nomination for his performance in the show. He later told Access Hollywood:

"Yeah, I found out (on Twitter) that they made that announcement. I didn’t necessarily know that it was going to be our last season next year, I knew something like that was coming up eventually. I mean, we can’t be there forever...I don’t necessarily want to leave so soon, but I mean, it’s fine. It’s what it is. And all things come to an end."

While I get the idea that the actors are playing high-school students, and that at some point their characters must graduate -- it's interesting that the producers are going to cycle in a newer, younger cast. You know -- just like the Power Rangers or Menudo!

Russian Cigarette Ads Target Teenage Girls

2011-07-13T14:30:00.000-07:00

They taste like burnt lollipops and ice cream!

Shockingly, the Russian government want to pull the ads, and is now involved in a lawsuit with the company.

Steve Buscemi Dress

2011-07-13T07:24:00.000-07:00

I feel a distinct need to wear this and go-go boots to San Diego Comic Con. I wonder if that online store can do a rush delivery?

How To Be Burned By An Internet "Reporter" -- And The Zooey Deschanel vs. Patt Morrison Case

2011-07-13T05:29:00.000-07:00

Zooey Deschanel recently had her words twisted by a reporter to portray her in a negative light

This is just a short and sweet lesson in Internets "Journalism," kiddies.

To get a perspective on how everything I'm going to talk about operates in the larger world outside your window, read this piece about the recent smackdown Zooey Deschanel gave reporter Patt Morrison over her being misquoted and defamed in Morrison's column. Notice that even when corrected, Morrison still leaves the original imflammatory post up, posting a half-hearted follow-up as some sort of non-mea culpa.

Now, this is how a so-called impartial investigation into yours truly gets resolved by a "reporter" with a documented history of harassing me online. When someone goes on the comments section of her site to dispute the claims of her and her "eyewitness" -- citing his own eyewitness evidence -- she emails him for his side of the story. But when his information doesn't match her narrative, she lies on her site that he never responded to her:

However, he DID respond to her questions...because I have the forwarded email right here, reproduced below. That means that this blogger, posing as a serious reporter who only cares about bringing the truth to light, is apparently a liar. Johanna Draper Carlson lied on her blog about investigative "evidence."

From: Richard last name redacted email redacted
Date: Tue, Jul 12, 2011 at 15:59
Subject: Re: Friends of Lulu discussion
To: Johanna Draper Carlson email redacted

Many of Kynn's statements are outright false, but short of forwarding email chains involving all parties I see no reason to deny his/her current and curious stab at attention.

I am also aware that you yourself and Valerie have quite a bit of history that seems to have nothing to do with FoL. That is between the two of you and nobody else. Regardless, the article is painfully obvious at trying to pin some imaginary blame on Val. If your concern for the charity matched your seething hatred for her, then what stopped you from picking up the mantle of president? This is kicking a dead horse, Johanna. Everyone knows the group ended last year, after pleading and pleading for assistance. If it wasn't for her efforts at guiding the group into some degree of closure then the entire organization would've been M.I.A. well over a year ago. She did not bail early. She announced her resignation for the end of that year, and as the fellow board members were all too incommunicado to so much as return calls or texts or email, she recruited the help needed to see through to the end of 2010. And we did it, despite efforts by you and certain others to muddy the tracks, creating sensationalist melodrama where none existed. Your innuendoes accomplish nothing positive. You attack the wrong people.

I tried to steer the comments into a direction of clarity, but I am unwilling to participate any longer.

On Tue, Jul 12, 2011 at 07:58, Johanna Draper Carlson email redacted wrote:
Given your comments in the thread at my site, I was wondering if you'd care to provide your answers to the same questions I asked Kynn for a followup piece. Here they are, and thank you in advance for your help.
Q: So what happened?
Q: Do you have any of the group's records, or know where additional records are? What will happen to them? (Rephrased given additional information.)
Q: What do you think could have been done differently?
Q: Is there still a need for a “women in comics” organization?

***

What is the lesson we learn from this minor blip on the minor blip on the minor blip of a news item in the far corners of the journalism galaxy?

It is extremely easy to use selective information to libel somebody on the Internets. It's your blog. You control everything. You can say you're a journalist, but you truly have no oversight. You can create a whole narrative from scratch, with no back-up, with pure hearsay. You can easily wrangle a person or two to help destroy someone's reputation, if you need to. It's very very simple. And when elements come into play that contradict your story? Well, you ignore them.

So say I didn't like you. And I wanted to really ruin you. I could create a scandal on the Internet about you out of nothing. I could even make up a narrative that, say, you're a homophobe, or a thief, or a racist, or a sexist. I could do that easily, with no proof necessary. Or I can even just cut-up little bits and quotes you've made and twist them hopelessly out of context. I mean, who has time to read whole text, anyway? I've made it easy for my readers by just "just getting to the good stuff."

I could even populate my comments section and message boards with fake accounts backing up my story. But I wouldn't even need to get fake accounts -- I could simply use triggering words, incendiary language, to stir up a lynch mob instantaneously. And now people are after you; I can even send them to your site to fill your comments section with attacks and threats. And now, whenever people do Google searches on your name, you are connected with scandal -- even if you force me through a cease and desist to put in a piddly little retraction.

Best of all? I can then demand to have a public dialogue *with you* -- demand that you speak to me personally about the scandal I have created. And if you refuse, because you think I'm not a legitimate news source -- I can point to that as further proof of your assumed guilt.

As you can imagine, a lot about this scenario is not about actual journalism at all -- it's a question of asserting power.

It's been questioned why I took my original site offline. Part of that is because I decided I did not want writing that was personal and emotional in nature being construed as actual journalism -- which, in some circles, it was. It was because, after years of reflection, I did not want to see people hurt -- regardless as to how I might disagree with some of them. I evolved as a human being. But some people never do.

At any rate, if you have half-a-brain in your head, some degree of success, and a pocketful of opinions -- you're probably going to be targeted by someone at some point in the manner I have just described. Here is my best advice:

1) Really accept that this is likely to happen at least once to you, and run through your head how you might deal with that. Don't wait until you're clobbered over the head with it. Accept that this is part of life on the Internets -- not that it's right, but that it's very easy for a person to do to you at any time.

2) The types of persons who do this sort of stuff really thrive off of your attention. I have to accept that even writing this now, catching this "reporter" in a lie, she on some level is thrilled that she's getting the attention. It's all about keeping the dialogue going. I'll write this, she'll go write something else that's 10x more extreme and then hope that the dialogue continues. At some point, you need to grit your teeth and shut the dialogue down -- even if that means enduring another day or days or weeks of one-sided attacks.

3) You know that saying, don't negotiate with terrorists? Extend that metaphor to this situation.

4) There's a certain point where things turn into libel. Educate yourself as to what is libelous on the Internet, and what can be prosecuted by law. Admittedly, it's hard to do -- but more and more cases are arriving in the courts, and the laws are evolving (albeit slowly) to protect you.

5) DON'T LINK BACK TO THE BLOGGER. It's like putting money in their hands through increased hits and ad revenue -- which is largely why they pull this sort of stuff in the first place.

6) In the end, realize -- especially in regards to "niche" media -- that all this does not matter in the end. You should stand up for yourself when appropriate -- but in the end, you have your family and circle of friends. Your circle of friends does not include all of the Internets -- though certainly Facebook, message boards, Twitter etc. can give you that illusion. You have a core of family and friends who love you and look out after you. If you keep focusing on them, you can weather the worst of any storm.

So that's it.

And thank you, Richard.

Postscript: while you will see plenty of play online for repeating scandalous claims with little backing and/or one fabricated out of thin air, you'll rarely see the opposite -- sites interested in running the retractions or correcting the truth. Regardless, the "reporter" -- such as Patt Morrison -- will win in the end as long as the item is discussed, regardless of those who take issue with her questionable reporting style. She or he might even be encouraged to continue such types of dubious journalism or vicious opinion pieces noting increased traffic to the site in question. A good deal of media is run in this fashion.

Rise above.

"Dangerous Minds" Update #1 - Ditko and Dave Chappelle

2011-07-11T17:17:00.000-07:00

I have creators interested in two biographical subjects for my "Dangerous Minds" webcomic project so far:

Steve Ditko: So much respect for him following his own philosophical convictions and producing so much self-published material

Dave Chappelle: A wickedly funny comedian and a really brave guy who isn't afraid to critique Hollywood

More updates as they develop, I have a lot of writing to do --

If you are a comic creator and are interested in contributing to this project, deets and potential bio candidates are listed here.

10 Ways To Restore One's Faith In Humanity

2011-07-11T10:39:00.000-07:00

Who hasn't had those moments? Here are ten ways to get you back on the positive track.

10. Kitteh (how does a cat restore fath in humans? I dunno, it just does)

9. Classic Star Trek

8. Ice Cream (the sugar has narcotic effect)

7. Tom Hanks (might have to ignore a couple of random political statements here and there)

6. Watching little children play (protip: avoid watching evil little children play)

5. Listen to the Beatles (but not that later crazy drug stuff)

4. Watch movies where the underdog triumphantly wins (Rocky, Miracle On Ice, John Carpenter's The Thing)

3. More kittehs

2. Spending quality time with Significant Other (repeat as needed)

1. Create fantastic steampunk alternate world for oneself where one is amazing and deadly samurai schoolgirl (won't necessarily restore faith in humanity, but you have a bitchin' sword so who cares?)

Webcomic Proposal: "Dangerous Minds"

2011-07-10T09:24:00.000-07:00

I've always been fascinated by those with unpopular -- and yet quite sincere -- opinions. Some, obviously, are simply kooks, others introduce genuinely innovative ideas to an unwilling populace, and many often are a combination of the two.

I wish to create a webcomic series of short bios (probably 3 pages each) on such individuals, called "Dangerous Minds," encompassing everyone from:

Bill Hicks
Nikola Tesla
William Burroughs
Alan Moore
Camille Paglia
Dave Chappelle
Alex Jones
Harvey Pekar
Timothy Leary
Charles Fort
Aleister Crowley
Harold Camping
Philip K. Dick
Howard Stern
George Carlin
Steve Ditko
David Icke
Henry Darger
Rod Serling
H.P. Lovecraft

and beyond...

Though I wouldn't necessarily agree with the opinions of all the subjects of "Dangerous Minds," I would celebrate their right to explore the outer reaches of philosophy, religion, politics, art, etc. without being de facto blacklisted/censored (often, especially these days, by otherwise "enlightened" and progressive individuals).

Part of the reason I feel so passionate about this project is because I firmly believe that humans cannot evolve without the "kooks" being allowed to inject their outre and unpopular views and theories. Yes, many of these views remain, essentially, "kooksville." Others lay the foundations of what will be eventually accepted as "tommorrow's truth" -- do your homework as to how many currently accepted theories and philosophies were yesterday's "rubbish." Or how many artists in their day were deemed talentless hacks at best, deranged lunatics at worst -- and are now considered geniuses before their time.

On a personal note, I've been publicly called "a dangerous mind" for both my opinions and my comic writing. I have had someone once write that my hands should be "cut off" to prevent me from writing anymore. You know, the usual. And yet I have not accomplished one scintilla of the work many of the persons I want to write about have accomplished, or risked one scintilla of the livelihood/freedom/personal wellbeing many of them have. I have no concept what it is like to have your entire life's work stolen and burned by the government, or being sued by the FCC for millions of dollars, or to have other members of your academic discipline rally to have your writings discredited and silenced.

"Dangerous Minds" is meant to be an inspiration to those who think outside the box, who might be on the fence between surrendering to the status quo and taking a chance. I want to create this series of webcomics -- to be read on as many digital platforms as possible -- to truly communicate to a mass audience ideas (which they are free to accept or reject) that they may never have encountered in their usual media consumption. It won't pull punches. I warn you in advance: there will be some persons covered in "Dangerous Minds" who you do not like -- personal exceptions on your list of "live and let live."

But this is the carnival of the extreme and the outspoken that I have set out to write. If you wish to be a part of this project -- and perhaps, if so inclined, want to put possible "dibs" on a particular historical personage -- please contact me using the button on the upper left sidebar. Please pass this post on to your more free-thinking friends. This project starts immediately.

Thank you, and have a good day.

Friday SDCC Programming Info Just Posted!

2011-07-08T10:17:00.000-07:00

EDIT: GOOD GOD, William Shatner and Adam West/Burt Ward in the same day!

Link to the Friday Panel Info

At first I was like:

...and now that it's posted, I'm all like this:

Dazzler Was Originally To Be Played By Bo Derek

2011-07-08T09:05:00.000-07:00

Two icons of my late 1970s childhood smushed together in an unexpected connection, courtesy of the Jim Shooter blog:

"On the basis of my treatment, Bo agreed to become attached to the project. She wanted to play Dazzler."

Alas, too many cooks in the kitchen, the dish spoiled, and all that -- with allegedly Jim cut out of writing the screenplay, Derek's husband John insisting on directing or no Bo, and Dazzler's powers being changed from light abilities to making people tell the truth.

This last point particularly irks me, as it seems to be a common thread with a number of this female superhero solo movies, such as Catwoman and Elektra. If it ain't broke, why fix it or add to it? Why the need to "soften" the powers of these characters with New Agey and/or emotion-based aspects to their abilities?

Of course, given that this was, as I said before, the late 1970s (era of Xanadu, Thank God It's Friday, and Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band), the issue of the cinematic Dazzler's powers would have been the least of the concerns, from a true-blue fan's perspective. It is probably best for all of us that there were so few big-budget superhero films being made at that time, because they probably would have been more Flash Gordon than Superman.

Anyway, anxiously awaiting Paul Levitz to discover Blogspot.

A New Hope For Friends Of Lulu!

2011-07-08T06:10:00.000-07:00

Friends of Lulu is in the midst of officially closing, with remaining funds to be donated equally to the other major comic book non-profits. Kynn Bartlett -- who declined to help keep the non-profit running when offered -- has the original art and archives. Former Treasurer Randi Mason has the financial records, which, after more than two years, she has still not returned despite numerous requests for her to do so by many people -- the major reason proper filings could not be made and why the organization could not continue.

Friends of Lulu is also closing because, in the course of nearly two years, nobody else has offered or has been willing to take the responsibility of running this organization. A non-profit is not a hobby. It is more like a business, and requires that amount of effort and commitment.

But I applaud Johanna Draper Carlson's tireless efforts on behalf of Friends Of Lulu, and her consistent support of women in comics. It was really great, after coming off of such horrific personal tragedy in my own life, to have someone like Carlson publicly in my court. It's comforting to know that when the chips are down, we women at least have each other.

Carlson's recent offer to help retrieve the lost archival Friends of Lulu materials really just gave me an inspirational boost that was lacking for so long. If anybody deserves to be president of Friends of Lulu, it is definitely Johanna Draper Carlson. So Johanna, if you'd like to take this baby on, you know where to contact me. Maybe we can work together to put on the Lulu Awards this year.

Casey Anthony Etsy Merchandise

2011-07-08T04:39:00.000-07:00

Wow, it's too early in the morning for me to deal with this...

Via the blog regretsy is a gallery of etsy dealers trying to cash in on the whole Casey Anthony verdict.

The winner: Bella Vita's set of 4 felt-tip marker Casey portraits, including one of her as a "pixie/elf/nymph" -

Runner-up: Miniature Casey Anthony magazines for dollhouses:

Isn't that awesome? "1 mag has color pages!"

Ah, people.

Why I Think Adam West Should Cameo In The Dark Knight Rises

2011-07-07T06:14:00.000-07:00

Arg, this one has been puzzling me for several days now. First, an Adam West sighting around the same place in England they're shooting the movie. Now this Tweet from Floss Magazine's Twitter that "Hollywood big wigs" have confirmed that West will appear in the movie. The Floss tweet aside, I don't see a lot of other info backing this up at present -- and WB execs are apparently not commenting.

I totally think West deserves a cameo in a major Batman movie by this point. He's been campaigning for one since 1989's Batman. While the old argument against such as cameo goes "well, then it would turn the whole thing into a campy Batman movie," I think the films have gone metaphorically "to hell and back" in terms of campiness -- witness the late 1990 sequels -- and even Inception's Christopher Nolan could appreciate the meta quality of having West make a quick appearance. I mean, if Grant Morrison can incorporate the cornier side of Batman and Superman's stories from the 50s and 60s into critically-acclaimed comics, I see no reason to leave West out of The Dark Knight Rises.

Product Placement Being Digitally Added To Television Reruns

2011-07-07T04:54:00.000-07:00

Eagle-eyed Reddit and Flickr users have stumbled upon what I suppose is the newest trend in advertising: digitally inserting product placement in television reruns.

Shout-outs to current movies The Zookeeper and Country Strong were found in older episodes of How I Met Your Mother:

While some see this as a conspiracy of sorts to convince our fragile subconscious minds that The Zookeeper always existed throughout the history of the modern world as some sort of seminal humor meditation along the lines of Horse Feathers, I opt for a more obvious explanation. Namely, a mischevious time-traveller.

Via

The Similarities Between Arrested Development and The Godfather

2011-07-07T04:24:00.000-07:00

Hmmm, I've never realized this before...

via Reddit

The New Face Of Movies For The Over-50 Crowd

2011-07-06T08:59:00.000-07:00

Remember when movies for the older set were things like...well, I don't know, "On Golden Pond" or something?

From The Hollywood Reporter:

Universal knew that Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts’ new summer movie Larry Crowne would play best to adults, but no one expected a full 71% of the audience to be over the age of 50.

“My goodness, there are bristlecone pines younger than this movie,” one rival studio exec said.

Of course, I remember both Hanks and Roberts as scrappy up-and-comers (Splash and Mystic Pizza, anyone?) so that must mean I'm quickly becoming ancient, myself.

Blogger RIP?

2011-07-05T14:22:00.000-07:00

Google "retires" Blogger and Picasa brands:

Hel-loooo, Google Blogs And Google Photos!

"The move is part of a larger effort to unify its brand for the public launch of Google+, the search giant’s social initiative. Blogger and Picasa aren’t going away, of course — they’re two of Google’s most popular products. Instead, according to two sources familiar with the matter, Google intends to rename Picasa “Google Photos” and Blogger will become “Google Blogs.” Several other Google brands are likely to be affected, though our sources made it clear that YouTube would not be rebranded."

In other news, Orkut will be renamed "Otisburg"

Original 1967 Batgirl Costume Now On Auction...

2011-07-05T08:20:00.000-07:00

I suppose this is the Holy Grail of Batman cosplayers...you can bid on this original Batgirl costume from the Batman TV show at icollector right now! Bidding starts at $500, and the costume's estimated worth is between $9,000.00 and $12,000.00. Includes letters of authentication from TV's Batgirl, Yvonne Craig.

via Bat-Blog

Hugh Laurie New L'Oreal Spokesperson

2011-07-05T07:20:00.000-07:00

So what do you think, is this a sell out? Or...a $ell-out (if you know what I mean wink wink yay capitalism). The Daily Mail is reporting that House's Hugh Laurie will be the new spokesperson for L'Oreal's line of cosmetics for men:

"At first I thought it was a mistake, but then I realised that L'Oreal wasn't looking for models but for people with strong personalities, who are worth it...and who aren't afraid to proclaim that using cosmetics can be a very masculine decision after all."

I'll admit it, when I think male-makeup pitchmen, Hiugh Grant comes much more quickly to mind than Hugh Laurie. But then again, remember that Laurie was quite a dapper dude back in the day:

Lest you think this is all some Onion article that I happened to stumble upon and mistook for God's honest truth, here's a promotional video Laurie recently made for L'Oreal:

What Could Have Been: Nicolas Cage Almost Cast As Aragorn In "LOTR"

2011-07-05T04:53:00.000-07:00

There isn't enough space on the Google cloud to store the amount of writing I could dedicate to the phenomenon known as Nic Cage. I am both utterly fascinated and faintly nauseated by Cage -- his idiosyncratic acting style, his undefeatable drive to portray comic book superheroes who aren't quite appropriate for him, and, of course, his epic hair. I don't just want the Nicolas Cage movies I pay good money to see to be awesome...I want them to be sort of comfortingly mediocre. (note to self: get on that "Season of the Witch" review post)

So one can only imagine what Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings saga might have been like had Cage played the role of Aragorn as originally intended. According to Wikipedia, the actor had to turn down the role because of "family obligations." The same article lists other potential Aragorns as Vin Diesel, Stuart Townsend, and Russell Crowe. You have to wonder if there is a Fringe universe out there in which Vin Diesel was Aragorn, and if that was the deciding factor that split it off from its origin world.

Anyway, in case you wanted to continue imagining Cage as Aragorn, I've helpfully included some pics from him in costume (albeit from another movie):

How I Learned To Love The NOOK (A Tale Of Fickle Affection)

2011-07-04T17:57:00.000-07:00

I had already pegged myself as life-long lover of paper when the NOOK Color sashayed into my life with its hot interface and sexy design. Actually, that's not quite accurate. Compared to the pure sensual **ckability of the hipster iPad, NOOK seemed somewhat "vanilla" in comparison. If the iPad was an "up for anything" Bradley Cooper, NOOK was more like Jason Segel. You know, sort of dependable, rectangular-shaped, convenient. Standing at the display at Barnes and Noble, I wasn't sure if NOOK had quite that animal magnetism to steal me away from my first and primary love: bits of pulp smoothed out into pleasingly-tactile bound readable sheets.

Not quite a month later, and I'm eying my print collection warily, calculating how many I might kick to the curb in favor of their digital dopplegangers. Yes, I'm a total two-timing e-book harlot, possessing all the sentimentality of Drew Barrymore in that movie where she loses her memory every 15 minutes. Late at night, under the covers, NOOK tempts me with free 60-page previews of books I'd never considering buying in a million years. No, not in a million years, in the old pre-digital world...but I can buy this book and have it delivered to me instantly at 3:00 in the morning! And it won't take up any space on my shelf!

NOOK Color is one of those rare devices that promise far more than advertised. Because what at first seemed like a mild-mannered run-of-the-mill e-book reader is really...an Android tablet. A $250 Android tablet that lets you read books, magazines, your favorite newspaper, play MP3s, play Sudoku, write notes, browse the web, check your e-mail, keep tabs on Twitter and Facebook...and God knows how many additional wonderful wonderful things if and when I decide to jailbreak that darling.

I now read more than I ever did in my life. I nearly read the New York Times, via my paid subscription, cover-to-cover every day. All those review copies I need to plow through for my job? Done! And browsing through a photo-intensive periodical like National Geographic? Amazing! The already mind-blowingly vivid photographs appear even sharper, almost glowing off the "page."

Part of the NOOK's allure is its practical size -- in the arena of reading off a digital device, bigger is not always better. The NOOK Color fits easily in one hand, and isn't too heavy not to stash in my purse or grab on the go. And sheathed in sleek black leather -- can you think of a better way of adding some spice to a "vanilla" look? -- it looks like a distinguished slim "traditional" book, not anything remotely computer-like.

That said, there are drawbacks to owning a NOOK, mainly walking into your office or perhaps a Starbucks and having people glance at your non-Apple device with a facial expression both quizzical and pitying. Obviously, you were too poor to buy an iPad. "Does that thing actually work?" one person might ask, perhaps picturing a "Fisher Price" logo on the side of the device. "So you decided to go with a NOOK, huh?," another might remark, "You know you can get a used first gen iPad pretty cheap nowadays, right?"

But they don't understand just what me and my NOOK have going with each other. They may never understand. And that's OK. I've always been a rebel.

This post lovingly dedicated to NOOK Color, the Jason Segel of e-reading devices:

How Not To Write A "LOL" List

2011-06-21T06:00:00.000-07:00

In response to the attempted abduction of singer Joss Stone, OC Weekly ran a list entitled "Five Pop Stars More Deserving of Abduction than Joss Stone" --

"Should Stone's would-be slayers ever make it out of the pen, we present a list of five other pop stars that are far more deserving of the whole violent abduction treatment."

Most of the celebrities on the list are young females, with such awesome commentary as this one for Selena Gomez:

"We only suggest Gomez as a target because she won't put up much of a fight. Thanks to her probable diet of Jelly Bellies and Vitamin Water, Gomez was hospitalized this week with malnourishment, which we suspect is publicist-speak for "eating disorder." Potential abductors can therefore be assured that Gomez won't scratch out their eyes, let alone have the strength to scream for help at an audible volume."

and Vanessa Hudgens:

"Since this 21st century Annette Funicello clearly lacks the brains to recognize that her time is up, we see only two options for her:
1. Sex video with Vern "Mini Me" Troyer and Vinnie from Jersey Shore
2. Disappear - preferably, by getting into the van with the guy in the leather trench coat. That's right, the guy with the pantyhose pulled over his face. He's actually very nice."

I know, I know...if we can't joke about young women getting abducted and murdered, what can we joke about? Where is our funny bone, people?

How To Get Around The Law, The Comic Book Way

2011-06-20T14:56:00.000-07:00

Wouldn't it be great if all sorts of laws were invalidated because of textual unconscious gender bias? I mean, just in the Bible alone...

Via Super Punch

Dark Horse To Offer $20,000-Value Giveaway At American Library Association Conference

2011-06-20T14:12:00.000-07:00

Recognizing the value of reaching out to a wider comic book reading audience, Dark Horse Comics is offering a giveaway pack worth over $20,000 at the American Library Association Conference in New Orleans this weekend:

"This special giveaway, open to all attending public and school librarians, will include every Buffy the Vampire Slayer graphic novel from Dark Horse’s successful line. The winning library will receive over seven hundred hand-selected graphic novels in total, as well as fixtures and furniture. The prizes, including shelving, spinner racks, and more, will be displayed in the Great Graphic Novel Library Giveaway booth, #1760. The sign-up period will be during ALA exhibit hours on Friday, June 24, through Sunday, June 26.

"The entire display, worth over $20,000, will be awarded to the winning library with a drawing that will take place at 9:30 a.m. on Monday, June 27, in booth #1760. The contest is open to public, school, and academic librarians within the continental United States. ALA attendees must register in person at the Great Graphic Novel Library booth during the show. One hundred semifinalists will be notified on Sunday evening and the winner must be present to accept the prize.

All attending librarians are also encouraged to visit Dark Horse in booth #1740, part of the Diamond Book Distributors display, for an exciting look at our fall titles!"

Man, I wish I was attending this conference! Not that I'm a librarian, but...

The Most Unintentionally Creepy Comic Book Ever Written...

2011-06-20T06:12:00.000-07:00

...is what I just read, last night. I turned the last page, closed the book, and seriously considered never covering comic books again. I actually turned to my husband and said "I'm done."

Now, my threshold for creepy content is quite high. Also, I'm usually not offended by cheesecake art alone. And had the comic in question been intentionally creepy, like some sort of South Park parody, it actually would have been pretty hilarious.

But there were a lot of unique factors surrounding this particular comic that, when brought together -- much like when the individual Power Ranger Zords combine to create the Megazord -- made this book the big honking awkward gigantic stomping monster of Squick.

If I really thought this book would be a huge success, or impact the world in some major way, I'd get into details. But unfortunately, I think that would only help its sales and enable it to be fap material for the worst possible segment of the population.

But, let me just say: gah! So so so disappointed.

UPDATE: just missed my stop on the train this morning, I was still so upset with this book and thinking about it